Mad Men Power Rankings, Week Seven: 'What Are You Laughing At, Cadillac?'
9. Connie Hilton (up) Last week: unranked
When Connie first appeared a few weeks ago, in a chance encounter where he bonded with Draper over the piss-poor alcohol selection of a country club bar, who could've known he'd soon be tipping over the domino that would set in motion a series of events that would end with a couple of hippie grifters busting up Don's face and Bert Cooper blackmailing the commitment-averse ad man into three years of contractual servitude? Actually, we saw it coming. All of it. Even the thing with the tractor! (Fine, we did not really see it coming.)
Sat behind Don's desk in a subtle power-play: Yes. Because Don was late, and Connie's used to being the guy who slaps his big swinging dick up on the desk while doing business.
10. Miss Farrell (up) Last week: unranked
Yeah, she sees right through Don. But she's still totally gonna do him, even if she's going to string him along for a little longer and take the occasional knowing jab at his boredom-induced philandering. Also, she seems, um, how do we put this gently, a little nuts? Don's not gonna let a good roll in the hay with a crazy wildcat go, even if she's going to make him feel like a plaid-shirted, new-teacher-diddling cliche.
Sally Draper PatricideWatch: Since nearly every other character seemed willing to try and kill Daddy this week, Sally took the week off. Though she did spend some time whispering subliminal commands into Bobby's ear as he slept, knowing she might one day need to summon him to assist her in her murderous mission. Daddy's very big and strong, she might need an easily controllable ankle-biter to distract him when she's going in for the coup de grace.
Exiting: Doug and Sandy. For a minute there, we thought you really might want nothing more than to have a good time with Don and make him forget all about the contract drama. But then you restored our faith that all TV hitchhikers, no matter how innocent-seeming (you know, despite the pills and reefer and whatnot), will eventually drug you, club you over the head, and make off with all your money. And for that, we thank you. Oh, one more thing: Did you "do it" when Don was laying on the floor, unconscious? You did? You kinky, kinky kids. Nicely played.
Not ranked: Joan Holloway (shocking!), Sally Draper, Sal Romano, Harry Crane, Ken Cosgrove, Paul Kinsey, a box of Cuban cigars, the interior decorator, cheddar cheese on pie, Roman Polanski, the Hermès scarf.
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Comments
Finally, the Power Rankings! I can exhale now...
I was waiting all day for these- great job again!
Can someone please kidnap Weiner and force him to write the "clothes-chomping vs. fingerbanging showdown" we all desperately want to see?
In addition to the fingerbang threat level (which I think, despite the verbal dressing down, is actually at "blackwatch plaid") please keep us updated on the Patricide Watch. The Sally fanfic is really one the best parts of my Mondays.
Betty did sit behind Don's desk at home while arranging a Jr. League tryst. She even tried the locked drawers.
I'm actually starting to enjoy the power rankings, and particularly the Fingerbang Threat Level, even more than the show itself.
Were we watching the same scene with Ms. Farrell, the teacher?
Her legs didn't snap shut, as you put it. I saw a flirtatious teacher who has grown accustomed to the dads hitting on her, she revels in it. Then Don subtly threw it back in her face, but, ah, this was still flirting, but on his terms. Don is being cautious with this one, and the teacher is intrigued. Don is intrigued too, now.
I'm willing to join a class-action suit against Lisanti for lodging the thought of Pete/Duck slashfic into our collective heads, where it stubbornly refuses to unlodge.
I liked when she called Don out on his shit (although she could've done it better), something about "you all are all the same". He likes to think he is above everyone but this week he got owned by everyone. I just wished Sally or Roger got in on the action. Now he really wouldn't be expecting that.
Betty did sit behind Don's desk in a subtle power play... in his home office, where she rattles the drawer that frustrated her so very much last season. In fact, isn't this the subtlest bureau-related power play of them all?
I think Sally Draper PatricideWatch will be in full swing once she finds her psycho teacher and her father going at it in an empty classroom.
sometimes you're the sun and sometimes you're the satellite doing the upstaging.
Don't forget, also unranked this week: Sacagawea and her self-delusional papoose!
I know...I was refreshing my page all day at work yesterday!!
I think you forgot to put the negative sign in front of the "1" for Don this week. He got owned. He's just lucky Joan's husband wasn't around to rape him.
I can't stop laughing. Hilarious comment hahaha.
Miss Ho-rrelly doesn't ring the same alarum bells as Bobbie, but she's still trouble. Nonetheless Don should accept her advances because the man seriously needs to get laid.
Sally knows it's important to wash your hands... of what though?
(Insinuating blood)
Nitpick:
Peggy: "Stop coming in here and infecting me with your anxiety."
Travis Schildgen
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