Mad Men Power Rankings, Week Seven: 'What Are You Laughing At, Cadillac?'
5. Duck Phillips (up) Last week: unranked
Oh, Duck, if only you'd shown this kind of passion when Don was muscling you out of Sterling Cooper! We may have been treated to a clothes-chomping vs. fingerbanging showdown, wherein a bloodthirsty mob of co-workers cheered on the combatants as teeth gnashed and hands flew crotchward until only one man, bloodied but unbowed, stood victorious.
Nice work with Peggy, though. Your cocksmanship is unimpeachable, sir.
Sat behind Don's desk in a subtle power-play: No.
6. Bertram Cooper (up) Last week: unranked
Too long marginalized by the British overlords to whom he'd sold his soul, the once omnipotent Bert had been waiting for an opportunity to feel powerful again, finally finding one by boxing an ungrateful Don's ears after he continued to resist signing a contract. "You, Don, have been standing on someone's shoulders. We brought you in, we nurtured you like family. And now is the time to pay us back. You can't go any further on your own, Don." Then came the blackmail. "Would you say I know something about you, Don?" "I would" "Then sign. After all, when it comes down to it, who's really signing this contract anyway?" And sign he did, face still throbbing from an episode-long fender-bender.
Sat behind Don's desk in a subtle power-play: Yes.
7. Pete Campbell (down) Last week: 6
"Stop barging in here. You're affecting me with your anxiety." Pete Campbell did little barging in this week after that initial encounter with Peggy. But Sneering Pete did receive a box of Cuban cigars from a hot-in-pursuit Duck Phillips. Which means that at some point, Pete will arrive at Suite 600 in the late afternoon to return the inappropriate gift, exchange a few potential deal points with Grey's poach-happy headhunter, and then, once all that thinly veiled foreplay is dispensed with, lock eyes with Duck as he says, "I want to take you in that bedroom, lock the door, gnaw through your hundred-dollar suit with my teeth, chase you around the bed for a little while until you get tired, and give you a go-around that will make those weasly little eyes of yours bounce around in your skull like a couple of jai alai balls."
And then Pete Campbell will be working at Grey by the end of Week Nine.
Sat behind Don's desk in a subtle power-play: No. Dreams about doing so nightly, but can't get up the nerve.
8. Henry Francis (up) Last week: unranked
"Hello? Oh, it's Betty Draper! How are you? You've got that baby out of you now, yes? Good, good. So I can drive up to Ossining or Tarrytown or wherever on the way to Albany to seduce you over some pie and Junior League nonsense? I can? Terrific. This is exactly why I put in the work while you were still pregnant, because I knew one day you'd pretend you needed something from my pal the Governor, then we'd chat about it, and a later date, perhaps two or three more episodes down the line, we'd be having some sex because your husband neglects you. Great, it's a date."
Sat behind Don's desk in a subtle power-play: No.
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Comments
Finally, the Power Rankings! I can exhale now...
I was waiting all day for these- great job again!
Can someone please kidnap Weiner and force him to write the "clothes-chomping vs. fingerbanging showdown" we all desperately want to see?
In addition to the fingerbang threat level (which I think, despite the verbal dressing down, is actually at "blackwatch plaid") please keep us updated on the Patricide Watch. The Sally fanfic is really one the best parts of my Mondays.
Betty did sit behind Don's desk at home while arranging a Jr. League tryst. She even tried the locked drawers.
I'm actually starting to enjoy the power rankings, and particularly the Fingerbang Threat Level, even more than the show itself.
Were we watching the same scene with Ms. Farrell, the teacher?
Her legs didn't snap shut, as you put it. I saw a flirtatious teacher who has grown accustomed to the dads hitting on her, she revels in it. Then Don subtly threw it back in her face, but, ah, this was still flirting, but on his terms. Don is being cautious with this one, and the teacher is intrigued. Don is intrigued too, now.
I'm willing to join a class-action suit against Lisanti for lodging the thought of Pete/Duck slashfic into our collective heads, where it stubbornly refuses to unlodge.
I liked when she called Don out on his shit (although she could've done it better), something about "you all are all the same". He likes to think he is above everyone but this week he got owned by everyone. I just wished Sally or Roger got in on the action. Now he really wouldn't be expecting that.
Betty did sit behind Don's desk in a subtle power play... in his home office, where she rattles the drawer that frustrated her so very much last season. In fact, isn't this the subtlest bureau-related power play of them all?
I think Sally Draper PatricideWatch will be in full swing once she finds her psycho teacher and her father going at it in an empty classroom.
sometimes you're the sun and sometimes you're the satellite doing the upstaging.
Don't forget, also unranked this week: Sacagawea and her self-delusional papoose!
I know...I was refreshing my page all day at work yesterday!!
I think you forgot to put the negative sign in front of the "1" for Don this week. He got owned. He's just lucky Joan's husband wasn't around to rape him.
I can't stop laughing. Hilarious comment hahaha.
Miss Ho-rrelly doesn't ring the same alarum bells as Bobbie, but she's still trouble. Nonetheless Don should accept her advances because the man seriously needs to get laid.
Sally knows it's important to wash your hands... of what though?
(Insinuating blood)
Nitpick:
Peggy: "Stop coming in here and infecting me with your anxiety."
Travis Schildgen
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