Enough, Already with Oprah's All-Female-Suffering Runup To Precious's Debut

By now, you've likely heard the incredibly gross news about what Mackenzie Phillips's "BOMBSHELL SECRET," as it's been teased for a week, will be when she detonates this atomic taboo bomb on The Oprah Winfrey Show later today. But before we do a swan dive into that muck, I'd like to back up a bit. I did something recently that I'd never done before: I added Oprah to my DVR queue. Her two-part season opener interview with Whitney Houston wasn't a letdown. On the contrary, it was something of a triumph for Winfrey, who'd gotten her elusive subject to snap back from the cracky abyss and reflect on the circumstances that led to her flash-and-burn marriage and astonishing fall from grace.

They explored the functional details, too. Her drug was cocaine -- premium rock cocaine, sprinkled like icing sugar in marijuana cigarettes and puffed while watching TV, sometimes days at a time, sitting wordlessly on the couch by Bobby Brown. I, however, needed no blow-joints to enjoy this show: I was high merely on the intrusion.

Yesterday's show featured two female guests, linked only by their Ripley's Believe It or Not!ness: Connie Culp, a woman who was shot in the face by her husband and survived (he turned the gun on himself and also survived), and who lived for some time with a sutured hole where her nose and palate once existed, giving her face the appearance of a bialy. However Culp became the lucky recipient of North America's first successful face transplant. Pragmatic, resilient, courageous -- she's all those things. But then she vacillates on whether or not she'd take back her husband after he's released from his seven-year prison stint, and you realize just where this woman's new head is at. You've heard of turning the other cheek; Connie takes it to its literal extremes.

The second guest was Shiloh Pepin, the girl made famous in a TLC documentary who has two fused legs that sort of form a single, tapering flesh-flipper below her waist, giving her the appearance of a mermaid. The condition is one from which she was thought never to survive past infancy, but Shiloh turned ten this summer, and like Connie, she too seems completely disinterested with matters of self-pity. Shiloh is instead preoccupied with tormenting her doctors with syringe water guns, plotting out her career as a jewelry designer, and leaving the bulk of the worrying over her quality of life to her parents -- who are divorcing, she let slip.

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  • Mike S says:

    Based on Mr Abromovitches take, the season has started with some sensational subjects, but I think it a bit premature to label the season as overstuffed with female-suffering-themed episodes.That being said what is happening is she playing to her audience, which is no diffrent than the male movie director who targets his film towards teen boys or parents and children. It's a greedy world if you make it and they don't come, no one will let you continue to make it. if mr abromovitch does not like it that is what the remote is for. obviously Many many women choose to continue to take the ride daily with Oprah.
    As long as they do she will continue to do what she does best appeal to her audience.

  • ChrisStH says:

    Heavy, man.

  • Pat Forbess says:

    Why do these people wait until AFTER their alleged abusers are dead to come forward with such horrendous accusations? If such a thing really did occur, then talk it over with God, a counselor, or a trusted friend. Don't advertise it to the world when the alleged abuser cannot defend himself/herself. No offense, but when an accuser has spent his/her entire life on alcohol or drugs, I honestly find it hard to believe anything he/she says.

  • stretch65 says:

    ewwwww YUCKY!!!

  • stretch65 says:

    Father's day will always hold a special place in MacKensie's heart...

  • el smrtmnky says:

    apparently 'the secret' on oprah this year is a whole other can of worms

  • Old No.7 says:

    Look on the bright side... it's ok to eat ham sandwiches again!

  • Lowbrow says:

    Perhaps Shiloh can moonlight as a jewelry designer happily featured on QVC, but I humbly suggest she devote the bulk of her time and resources into what she was truly put on this planet for: to produce & star in an entirely new and fascinating genre of pornography.
    Ms. Pepin, Erotic Sirenomelia™ awaits you.

  • Doug504 says:

    And why did Mr. Abramovitch write this article right now? Because it would bring readers to Movie Line.
    Where they could also learn about the Barbie movie, Tim Burton's movie, Eastwick the TV show, what stars had their movies dumped, Californication, etc.
    All designed to attract readers and bring in ad revenue.
    Frankly, Abramovitch sounds a little jealous that Oprah can deliver the goods (ratings) while he gets a mere 9 comments about his article.

  • Seth Abramovitch says:

    9 comments wins my time slot!