An Ode to the Terrible Photoshopped Cigarette That is Californication's Advertising Mainstay
In cable, there are many quirks
For shows that need a buzz recharge
Like ad campaigns that networks shirk
For every season, by and large.
At Showtime, there is one such show
In its third season, coming soon
About a writer, dad, and cad
Who's on the hunt for easy poon.
What billboard ad would best solicit
Interest from the common man?
What message should it make implicit
To win this show another fan?
Don't put your star's face front and center
And think conditions have been met.
To earn your poster no dissenters
It clearly needs a cigarette.
Not any cancer stick will do
There's one more trick you must adopt:
Instead of using one on-set
That Camel must be Photoshopped.
It surely is a strange motif
To use for seasons two and three.
You might confess to disbelief
To see it used to this degree.
Please don't fret, don't be concerned
Don't find these billboards misbegot'
Because, you know, at least they've earned
A post on this site, did they not?
Comments
Iambic tetrameter? Please. Everyone knows Hank Moody prefers a good fourteener. Just ask Mia.
Kyle Buchanan is the Brilliance.
An oral fixation; just one affliction
Téa Leoni is quite familiar
Mr. Duchovny deals with coitus addiction
Art imitating life ruefully similar
Thou thinkst the lesser of me
As I rave on Dave Duchovny?
No, he's normally quite lovely and serene.
And surely now I figure
There is no transgression bigger
Than to make him out a cigarette machine.
This bold manipulation
Just for 'Californication'
Is a calumny that frankly should not be,
as Mulder, that rebeller,
that disparaged margin-dweller,
finds the cigga-smoking fella... and it's thee.
Whoops... missed a rhyme!
Thou thinkst the lesser of me
As I rave on Dave Duchovny?
No, he's normally quite lovely and serene.
And surely now I figure
There is no transgression bigger
Than to make him out a cigarette machine.
This bold manipulation
Just for 'Californication'
Is a calumny the nation should not see,
as Mulder, that rebeller,
that disparaged margin-dweller,
finds the cigga-smoking fella... and it's thee.