Valentine's Day Trailer: One of These People is a Secret Gay!

Some romantic comedies are content to just be, and for them, a major victory is a $50 million gross or landing an original Duffy song for the end credits. Not Valentine's Day! Valentine's Day will eat those romantic comedies, then grow stronger as it adds their souls to its own. Valentine's Day is the ur-romantic comedy. The more you fear Valentine's Day, the stronger it becomes. You don't believe it? Take in this titan of a trailer, which employs every Jessica who's ever landed the cover of Esquire (but not Katherine Heigl!) and boasts Julia Roberts and Bradley Cooper as its star couple.

Oh, but wait.

There's a little something the makers of Valentine's Day (FROM THE DIRECTOR OF PRETTY WOMAN) aren't telling you, and that is: Cooper's character is gay! In fact, he's in a relationship with the briefly glimpsed Eric Dane (but not Rebecca Gayheart or...anyone else...OK?). Still, such a revelation would be out of place in this strictly by-the-numbers trailer, whose only intention is to dazzle you with its starry cast and crush you like a romcom behemoth.

VERDICT: It is pointless to resist assimilation into the Valentine's Day hive mind. You're already eating ice cream and watching this with your best friend, played by an up-and-coming female comedienne.


  • stolidog says:

    So, I guess the budget for this movie was 27 zillion dollars.

  • hellcat says:

    Look at all the beautiful white people and token black guy. The entire plane is full of white people. How very realistic.

  • Strepsi says:

    Yes, that Valentine's Day plane is sooo white. Is there a second, coloreds-only plane behind this one? But not called a "plane" - that's a nice word. How about "Aerial transportation device"?

  • james says:

    that race card thing is getting really old

  • bambam says:

    this is like the transformers 2 of rom-coms. i can't decide whether to wet myself with excitement or start cutting myself again.

  • The Winchester says:

    Kudos for using the most annoying song of THIS year, not one from 2005.

  • Liz Lemonazi says:

    This trailer makes me want to smack my 14-year-old self in the face for feeding this monster in the late nineties. Is this because I saw Titanic four times in the theater? Girls, what have we created?!

  • el smrtmnky says:

    Soul Plane 2?

  • FrancoisTrueFaux says:

    Couldn't they have tried a little harder with the title? Although I guess it's better than Good-Looking Stock Characters with Relationship Problems.

  • the trailer looks interesting enough..

  • Camille says:

    Jamie Foxx's face at the end reflects my feelings for this movie. But I'll probably go see it anyway. Ugh.

  • Lisa says:

    I am not surprised with the fact that this movie only has white people on the plane. Hollywood is so out of touch with the real world. I am not eager to see this movie and will not waste my money on it.

  • stolidog says:

    gee, too bad you feel that way. Thanks for sharing.

  • Turncoat says:

    Maybe the flight is from Greenwich, CT to Aspen, CO?

  • Wes says:

    Paving the way for more people of color to be in garbage like this is change we don't need.

  • Emperor Joshua Norton says:

    I'm saying it's Love Actually, moved to February and America, minus what charm there was. But see, PLUS gayness.
    I see what they did there. Clever.

  • Ben says:

    "My closest relationship is with my blackberry."
    Have I travelled back in time six years or something? That shit is so cliched you'd think they wee spoofing the genre.
    Fuck you, people who made this movie.

  • Feet of Courier says:

    People are surprised by how bad this looks? How can you possibly be surprised by the "quality" of a big budget ensemble rom-com that is directed by Garry Marshall was rewritten so much by the writers of "He's Just Not That Into You" that they got billing? Come on people, haven't you learned to demand less of your entertainment by now?