Sacha Baron D'Oh!

· Sacha Baron Cohen will voice a character on an upcoming episode of The Simpsons. He'll play a "pretty angry but funny Israeli tour guide who encounters the Simpsons during a church-group trip to the Holy Land," EP Al Jean told EW.com, before tossing out a joke to see if it sticks: "He's trying to get Marge to give him good grades on the comment card, and she goes, 'You people are pushy,' and he goes, 'What do you mean, you people? You try having Syria for a neighbor! What do you have -- Canada?'" It sticks!

· The 23-year-old founder of the Jedi religion (membership: 500,000 followers worldwide) who goes by the name Morda Hehol was thrown out of a British supermarket, possibly for having waved two fingers in front of their produce man and instructed, 'You will take me to guava now.'"

· Asked about the progress of the Arrested Development movie at TIFF, Jason Bateman told MTV Movies Blog: "Perhaps that ship has sailed." DRAMATIC MUSIC!

· Elton John is in negotiations to adopt an HIV-positive Ukrainian demi-orphan named Lev. He was born a pauper to a pawn on a Christmas Day, when the New York Times said God is dead. And the wars begun. Elton John has got a son today.

· Here's Ellen DeGeneres's tweet of appreciation for Paula Abdul's surprisingly sharp impression of her Idol successor on last night's VH1 Divas. We'll see how funny it is when she rolls over to kiss Portia and finds Iggy's head there instead.