Project Runway Recap: Deadline Hollywood Dowdy
-Althea has crafted an incredible cross-hatched dress that fits the model like one of Victoria Beckham's hard, shrink-wrap-emulating looks. The cross-hatches all bend and curve in such a flattering way that Eva Longoria-Parker will grab her own ass at some point and caw at the moon.
-Johnny's dress is a basic strapless newspaper number with a jagged bustline and hem. There's not much more to say. Other than Johnny's huge, huge lie -- he defends his dress by saying that he had created another, better dress, and he accidentally ruined it in a mythical ironing accident. Nicolas, who is also left on the runway for his horrid, cockroach-looking contraption, starts giggling. Heidi perks up and makes the two of them fight, and she mutters under her breath, "These gay people are the feistiest ant farm ever."
-Gordana, unfortunately, lands in the bottom three. Her dress is cute, red-orange, and basic. Heidi deems it too wearable, and Gordana, a genius, responds, "I thought the challenge was about making something wearable out of the unwearable." Right, shut your goddamn mouth, Heidi.
Lo and behold, Johnny is eliminated, which is a bit of surprise considering Nicolas's wretched Roach Motel look slipped by. Johnny's last, meth-y words: "Giving up addiction was easier to do than this." I'm starting to think "meth" was a code word for "excessive masturbation," or something. Because that statement is outrageous. Better yet, after Johnny has been sent to pack up his things, Tim Gunn addresses the remaining designers and announces, "I just thought Johnny's lying on the runway was utterly preposterous. Didn't you? He offended the very nerve center of Project Runway, the totem of fashion in a world so blithely dressed in flip-flops and fannypacks. It just comes to show that some people deserve a horrible drug addiction, am I right? Whatever. Seal's in back, but if he weren't here, I'd administer a pile-driver to Johnny myself."
Will Michael and Nina return next week? Hope seems bleak. Seriously, a challenge set in Krogstyzyka would perk this up. Otherwise, Project Runway took a positive turn this week -- and I hope Booth Moore's final facial expression was a proud smile.
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Comments
I thought once we got rid of the obvious losers, we'd be down to business. Maybe when pie-face-whatever-his-name gets voted off next week, we'll be down to business. Wait! Didn't I just say that? When will this season start?
So I'm not the only one who thought one of the newspaper dresses looked just like the "I hope the judges don't think this looks like a bunch of vaginas" dress from last season. I feel so much better about myself. Thanks for the self-validation, Louis.
Louis, you've done it again -- I didn't watch this episode, but I now know it better than any E! Host could ever. And with a witty over-tone.
I just sent this to a friend, and he called to say he had to leave his office for the lobby because he was attracting attention from laughing so hard!