Project Runway Recap: Deadline Hollywood Dowdy
Elsewhere: Ra'mon announces his concept, and I swear he namedrops "cubism" and "origami." He actually means "puffy paint" and "homelesswear." Lastly, my hero Gordana explains her two designs to Tim Gunn, saying, "NOW, TIM. IN YUGOSLAVIA THERE NEEDS TO BE CHANGE. I HAVE WRITTEN 'TIME TO CHANGE' AT THE TOP OF MY DESIGN. YOU SEE, TIM, CHILDREN IN MY VILLAGE OF KROGSTYZYKA OFTEN CONTRACT TETANUS WHEN PERFECTING THEIR PARALLEL BARS ROUTINE. IT IS SAD BUT REALITY. YOU UNDERSTAND THE HUMAN CONDITION. THE CHILDREN BECOME TOO WEAK TO EXERCISE THEIR UNUSUALLY BROAD SHOULDERS, AND EVENTUALLY LIMBS ARE SEVERED." Tim Gunn notes her design and says, "This looks boring to me," and skips off to Althea's mannequin. He advises the blonde beaut on her overly busy design. "Try being objective and looking at your fabric upside-down," he says. "Because right-side up it's dog shit."
Lastly, in a wonderful moment, Tim Gunn struts over to Johnny, who is just puckering newspaper and pretending it'll go somewhere, and gives him the following cautions. "I'm woeful, Johnny. It looks like a bunch of kindergarteners did it. The birds may attack this dress!" Then, as Johnny frets and starts fixing his dreck, Tim turns away from the dress because he can't bear to look at it. Johnny eventually throws out his design and tries for something new, but we'll get to that drama later. Irina also reimagines her dress, and this time she crumples newspaper to make a lovely, voluminous collar and sleeves -- very similar to Laura Bennett's Season Three robe dress. Copying Laura Bennett is always a key to victory, even if the victory is just acknowledged within the beating of my heart.
When we arrive at the final runway show, Heidi throws up her arms and announces, "Nope! Nina and Michael aren't back yet. That better be one hell of a giant stuffed panda they're winning." Her co-judges today are Tommy Hilfiger (who looks more like a wind-burnt Jackson Browne than ever), Zoe Glassner (who is some person), and Eva Longoria-Parker. Let's investigate the runways greatest and lamest hits!
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I thought once we got rid of the obvious losers, we'd be down to business. Maybe when pie-face-whatever-his-name gets voted off next week, we'll be down to business. Wait! Didn't I just say that? When will this season start?
So I'm not the only one who thought one of the newspaper dresses looked just like the "I hope the judges don't think this looks like a bunch of vaginas" dress from last season. I feel so much better about myself. Thanks for the self-validation, Louis.
Louis, you've done it again -- I didn't watch this episode, but I now know it better than any E! Host could ever. And with a witty over-tone.
I just sent this to a friend, and he called to say he had to leave his office for the lobby because he was attracting attention from laughing so hard!