The Case For Kanye West's Return to Grace

Kanye West has already survived his fare share of public meltdowns, but last night's Taylor Swift acceptance speech hijacking might be the one stunt from which the rap star won't recover. His VMA interruption enraged fans and celebrities, who immediately aligned themselves with the fragile, flaxen-haired victim (really, the only side to take if you ever want to work again in Hollywood or share Swift's wide fan base). But Kanye has done too much for music, South Park plot lines and late night monologue jokes to disappear after one VMA stunt gone wrong. So just how can the freshly-branded Swift Kicker, Taylor Stomper, and the breaker of delicate MTV dreams reclaim grace -- and more importantly, how long will it take?

Kanye's road ahead will be paved with angry teenyboppers and opportunist celebrities. Just ask the stars who took to their Twitter accounts to cyber-crucify West while offering character-limited condolences to Swift.

Russell Brand: "You can't make a pretty girl cry."

Pink: "Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me. My heart goes out to taylor swift. She is a sweet and talented girl and deserved her moment. She should know we all love her."

Donald Trump: "He couldn't care less about Beyonce. It was grandstanding to get attention."

Kelly Clarkson: "I mean, I've seen you do some pretty shitty things, but you just keep amazing me with your tactless, asshole ways. It's absolutely fascinating how much I don't like you. I like everyone. I even like my asshole ex that cheated on me over you which is pretty odd since I don't even personally know you."

Katy Perry: "F**K U KANYE. IT'S LIKE U STEPPED 0N A KITTEN."

John Mayer: "Big love to my girl @taylorswift13. A class act."

Kelli Pickler: "Tator Tot, you handled yourself with Grace. Kanye, go grow some f-ing b*lls bitch! don't mess w/my lil sis!!"

But these were all lightweight jabs compared to the most damning statement Joe Jackson released concerning the Kanye-cident. Familiar with the fine art of grandstanding and victimizing performers, Jackson recognized the chance to curry favor with the tween set, a coup for his upcoming Ranch Records label: "I don't know what he was doing, he jumped up on stage and snatched that microphone out of that poor girl's hand. They should blackball him out of show business for that. He just leapt up there, that was bad."

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Kanye West's fatal error last night was not in his taking the stage unannounced but choosing Taylor Swift as the object of his humiliation. If he had crashed anyone else's speech (except Dakota Fanning's), he stood a chance at exiting to applause rather than auditorium-wide hisses and a security escort. The audience might have enjoyed Kanye upstaging the showy, muppet-cloaked Lady Gaga or the eyeliner geriatrics of the MTV set, Green Day; even Madonna might have even welcomed the interruption if she could transform it into a tongue-kiss statement on race relations. But he chose VMA virgin Taylor Swift, the fragile, blue-eyed hero of teenyboppers everywhere -- currently, MTV's core audience.

After being escorted out of the show, Kanye posted two apologies to his blog, one that he removed hours later and another in which he compares himself to your favorite Meet the Parents hero. Perhaps he knows that after crawling through the 7 Stages of Public Hatred, there is one rarely attained bonus level: "Hard-Earned Sympathy." And there will be no better place to capitalize on that sentiment than tonight, on the season premiere of The Jay Leno Show, where he is slated to perform with Jay Z and Rihanna.

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Several possible scenarios: 1) Jay takes advantage of Kanye's outburst and sits him down for a deskless interview. It would be a mutually advantageous move for host and guest proving that Jay is capable of more than friendly banter and proving that Kanye is capable of complex emotions such as regret. 2) Kanye joins Jay and Jerry Seinfeld on the Ford-sponsored track in a eco-friendly Focus, covered in "I'm Sorry Taylor" skins. 3) A sunglassed Kanye finds a moment to throw a quick Taylor shout-out before, during or after his performance.

If Kanye plays his cards right tonight, he could end up in the hot seat with Oprah Winfrey and Larry King next week. And if he doesn't, then he should probably take some time off to reflect. In the meantime, celebrities, we get it: You are on Taylor's side. And MTV? Next time, barricade the stage.



Comments

  • stolidog says:

    I don't think he has to worry. If Chris Brown and R Kelly can sorta recover from beating and pissing on (respectively) a young woman, so can Kanye.

  • Furious D says:

    I understand his next act will be to sucker-punch Dakota Fanning at the premiere of the next Twilight movie.

  • Mikey says:

    Well, he has to put this project in turnaround fast--and sorry, I still won't watch the Leno Show. I'll wait to hear what Kyle has to say about it tomorrow, which should be much more interesting anyway.

  • bill vincent says:

    wonder how bad he would have been if it were toby keith

  • sweetbiscuit says:

    Thank goodness Kanye gave me a celebrity-endorsed reason to skip Leno's show tonight. "The Future of TV" indeed.

  • Dianna says:

    What in the world is wrong with Kanye? Taylor Swift handled it with class and let's not forget that we must also congratulate Beyonce for assisting in regaining that momentum for Taylor.... I think Kanye has freaking Bipolar disease......That is just darn crazy.

  • jensen says:

    PIG PIG PIG....self absorbed, self righteous, idiotic pig..kanye, you are not god...and if you were, you would never, never, never disrespect another human beiing like this. Inexcusable behaviour from an ignorant, unevolved lowlife who just doesn't get it. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOs is not sufficient to express my disgust.
    And there Taylor stood, gracious, angelic, like a true talent and a very decetn human being.

  • Marshall Barnes says:

    Kayne West was just exhibiting the same kind of ignorant, race related, bias that drives too many black people. The Katrina disaster relief was a disaster so it must mean "Bush hates black people". Likewise, Taylor Swift is a cross-over artist from country music, so Kayne feels that Beyonce was short changed some how as if Beyonce would have won if Swift had been restricted to the country music genre.
    Too bad she couldn't have taken that MTV "Moonman" award and sent Kayne to the moon - Ralph Kramden style!

  • Joe says:

    If she had done that to him, he would have "chris browned" her upside the head. Low class....low class!

  • sjziro says:

    He wouldn't have had the balls to step to Toby Keith like that! And if for some reason he was stupid enough to try it, Toby would've stomped his ass! Kanye, you're a no-class idiot...!

  • JT says:

    Why are People Bitchen Its not like he said hey taylor ur video sucked all he said was beyonce had one of the greatest videos ever yes at the wrong time but he didnt say anything to upset taylor so there is no sides to choose now he probly wish he woulda said something worth this hazing COME ON MTV that shit woulda been funny on BET ur to up tight!

  • rockman says:

    I've seen some morons before, but never one to crawl so low to draw attention to himself. KW must have to look up to see a snakes' ass, but then as they say, it takes one to know one so I'm sure he knows what a snake-ass what he loked like last night. Kudos' to Miss Swift and Beyonce' Big diff between them showing class and KW being an ass.

  • Cherie says:

    What would Kanyes' mother say about this bad mouthed attitude towards Taylor? Since she passed away, Kanye's gone seriously downhill. People ... don't waste your time on a guy who really doesn't care what anyone says about him, or his lewd public behaviour.
    Most people like him, generally have nothing in their life that's even remotely interesting or gives them joy, and they wake up each day with such a negative view to most of everything, that they have to get kicks out of making others miserable to boost themselves up. He obviously has way too much time on his hands. Taylors career is on the up and up, while Kanye's is sinking fast. No wonder the boy can't hold it together.
    Oh, and Kanye? ... your mother would be ashamed of you. Very sad indeed.

  • Furious D says:

    That might have made the VMA's watchable. ;)

  • SunnydaZe says:

    This will all blow over when West and Swift release their cover duet of "Ebony and Ivory".

  • Zu Ramsey says:

    As a black man in such a unique position, brother you added to the already litany of shameful and ignorant nonsense that we all are placed in and because of your actions. Once again allow me to defend and apologize on behalf of the true black men with class and respect for self and others. Your personal opinion for whatever the outcome of the award was should have been left for a different and more politically driven platform. I wish you success with all the money and fame, but please know Kanye that class and character is an earned commodity. You embarrassed us, the memory of your mother, but most importantly yourself. One last thing, please READ…history and hopefully your knowledge of self might improve.

  • jimmy james monkey death says:

    How did Kanye even have the energy to jump up on stage after carrying around his ego all day?

  • Lowbrow says:

    The Nazca Plains that were shaved into his hair was almost as upsetting as his uncouth interruption of Taylor's acceptance speech.

  • loudrockmusic says:

    [img]http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm47/GuruSY/BooThisMan.gif[/img]

  • stolidog says:

    someone educate me, because i don't understand something. If there's a best female video, and a best male video, how can "best video" not come from one of them (or a band)? How did Taylor Swift win best female video and they Beyonce get best video...shouldn't Beyonce have won both? What am I missing besides the fact that MTV music awards are stupid?

  • SunnydaZe says:

    We have a winner for comment of the week!

  • Pleiadestar says:

    Kanye, not only are you an ass but no matter what you do or say Beyonce won't sleep with you...so give it up, get a life, get on medication (NOT self-medication you idiot) lose the booze and the drugs and go hide in the corner for the next...say...20 or 30 years.

  • LizzieLemonic says:

    I'm sorry...I don't "like" him, but I can't hate Kanye West, and I'm proud of that fact. Kind of like how I could never hate Taylor Swift (who could, she's adorable!) but I could never make myself care about/like her either, because she doesn't represent anything particularly enchanting to me, personally.
    I just think he represents something relevant to modern society very well, and it's interesting, even if that thing he's representing is almost pure narcissism. He's just reflecting a predominant social trend most people seem to have these days, but to an extreme point. And it's fascinating.
    He's just another Puck. You always need a Puck.
    How can people take this so seriously? It was just the VMAs!

  • LizzieLemonic says:

    Nothing else to get or worry over.

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