Aspiring TIFF Prostitute Has Clearly Learned Nothing from Jennifer's Body Soul-Stealing Storyline

Sure, souls are valuable, but what's a measly spirit compared to the chance to see Jason Reitman sip a cocktail from across a crowded bar? One enterprising Toronto Film Fest attendee is so determined to hobknob with the awards circuit hoi polloi that he's offering his body, soul, and much, much more for the low price of one Craigslist dollar. What else is he willing to do? Let him tell you himself:

Here is that time of the year again !

I love film...

I will do anything to get tickets for industry related events (Parties, screenings, private meetings, NOT the common Joe ones, the industry ones with BIG producers and stars ONLY).

I can : speak multiple languages (including French, oui! oui !), cook, clean the dishes, do your children homework, drive your car, maw your lawn, clean your clothes, iron them, sleep with your ugly old wife while you're with your lover, take your husband to horse races or Baseball games while you're with your lover, entertain your fellow producers if you need somebody funny, fix your Mac or PC computer, pretend that I'm your son if you don't wanna say you're gay, even say smart things about the movies you've not seen or anything that seems interesting and cultural.

Really, anything, I'm your TIFF'09 festival whore... just get me in and make me meet some star$$$ and producer$$$!

I think I saw Bart do this on an episode of The Simpsons once. It ended with him drunkenly insulting Willem Dafoe at an after-party in the Drake Hotel, right?