9/11 Conspiracy Theorist Charlie Sheen Scripts Steamy Fanfic Encounter with President


Charlie Sheen makes $860,000 per episode of Two and a Half Men. Let that number roll around in your head for a bit as you consider the unusual story of "Twenty Minutes with the President," a fictitious fireside chat with President Obama -- conceived, written, story and based upon a theory championed by the sitcom star -- that has been loosed upon the Internet by radio host and 9/11 conspiracy theorist-in-arms (the politically correct term is Truther, or Cover-Up-Enabling-Challenged), Alex Jones.

Of course, were you to stumble haphazardly upon the transcript hosted on Jones' website, perhaps after a night of drinking too much and Googling a hazardous search-term cocktail of "Cheerleaders + Bush + Manly men, men, men," you'd be forgiven if you had assumed the conversation had actually taken place. Sheen chooses to preface it with this introduction:

I recently had the pleasure of sitting down with our 44th President of the United States of America, Barack Hussein Obama, while he was out promoting his health care reform initiative. I requested 30 minutes given the scope and detail of my inquiry; they said I could have 20. Twenty minutes, 1200 seconds, not a lot of time to question the President about one of the most important events in our nation's history. The following is a transcript of our remarkable discussion.

Sheen then produces what could well be the start of a bold new offshoot of the traditional fanfic -- the World Leader Comes Around to the Conspiracy Theory 99.9% of the Population Dismisses as Crackpot genre -- weaving in sexy guest appearances by Osama bin Laden, Dick Cheney, FBI translator Sibel Edmonds and The New Yorker reporter Seymour Hersh along the way. All the while, he shows a talent for capturing Obama's cool-headed and even-handed affability, as well as the President's endearing tendency to heap superlatives upon the stars of CBS' Monday night lineup. (When he says, "Big fan of the show, by the way," we were immediately reminded of the time he cornered Cobie Smulders at a D.C. press luncheon, his breath reeking of cheap Chardonnay as he gushed how she "held the delicate HIMYM chemistry in balance." Sadly, that encounter was all too real.)

· Twenty Minutes With The President [Prison Planet via EOnline]


  • SunnydaZe says:

    I seriously doubt Sheen wrote this due to the lack of Hookers and Pornstars.

  • The Winchester says:

    Sheen gets all the attention, but what about Emilio Estevez' hit one man show "Getting Clinton to Tell Me About The Aliens"?
    Some day your star will shine, Otto.

  • Stan Allen says:

    About the only thing screen and tv stars can do is read and remember lines, and look good in front of a camera. I don't understand why any of them, (and some don't), ever even finish high school, because dweebs like Mr. Sheen sure don't seem to use their brains for anything but the above. How pathetic!!! And I like his show.

  • Maturity counts says:

    Before eviscerating this piece I say read it. The sad part is the majority of the actual 9/11 commissioners AGREE WITH CHARLIE SHEEN!
    The investigation was a fraud.

  • xstacey says:

    I think Charlie is totally qualified to speak on this, being an actor he recognizes a script when he sees it.