The 9 Most Scathing Critical Responses to All About Steve

This is why studios don't screen some movies for critics. After a summer during which Bradley Cooper and Sandra Bullock hits combined for $350 million at the box office, the harsh reality of September has set in with their romantic quasi-farce All About Steve. The early reviews are in, and you might say they could be... better. But how bad could Steve really be? Let's take a sampling after the jump.

9. "Occasionally, the scattershot humor hits a target. But mostly it's painful to watch Bullock, now 45, babbling like a psychotic as she chases a younger hunk." -- Joe Williams, St. Louis Post-Dispatch

8. "It's ultimately neither romantic comedy nor anti-romantic comedy, wandering so far off course that it's hard to tell exactly what it is, beyond a self-infatuated quirkfest populated by three-legged babies, deaf children stuck in abandoned mines, and a potential love interest for Bullock, played by DJ Qualls, who makes apple carvings that look like celebrities' faces." -- Nathan Rabin, The AV Club

7. "Mary appears to be emotionally handicapped in a way that's neither cute nor charming and would be worrisome if you were her friend. Though you wouldn't be." -- Connie Ogle, Miami Herald

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6. "[Bullock]'s never been that good in dizzy, 'out there' roles. She might have learned that lesson with 1999's in Forces of Nature. Apparently not. All About Steve, an unfunny, annoying, badly written, badly acted comic fiasco, may be the worst movie in Bullock's career. -- Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel

5. "Frantic, inane, moronic and obnoxious, All About Steve ranks among the very worst movies of the year. The decade, even. [...] Unless you're desperate to start a drinking game when this movie hits cable -- knock one back every time Mary says 'crossword'!" -- spare yourself." -- Alonso Duralde, MSNBC

4. "Cooper's character proves utterly bland, and [Thomas Haden] Church's take on the unctuous news guy makes you wonder if he'd rather jump back a couple of movies, transform into sand and quietly ooze away." -- Brian Lowry, Variety

3. "Any comedy that falls back on a woman talking to her hamster or the plight of hearing-impaired children in a mineshaft isn't just grasping at straws, it's throwing in the towel." -- Matt Pais, Metromix Chicago

2. "The film isn't merely unfunny and stupefyingly inane but a depressing waste of money, energy and time, yours included. This soul-killing atrocity begins with a bad idea and fully delivers on its lack of promise." -- Rafer Guzman, Newsday

1. "One of its most unfortunate elements is seeing Bullock so stranded and helpless in would-be comic frenzy. An actress should never, ever, be asked to run beside a van in red disco boots for more than about half a block, and then only if her child is being kidnapped." -- Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times

· All About Steve [Rotten Tomatoes]



Comments

  • emberglance says:

    We can add this from gregeichelberger in his user comment on iMDb:
    "There's nothing about this Mary that is even remotely interesting. In fact, Bullock portrays her as as a female "Rain Man," walking around (in clunky red boots) in a kind of catatonic daze and spouting so much useless information it's a wonder someone didn't stuff her into a dumpster years before".

  • sweetbiscuit says:

    Wow. And Bullock is a producer on this thing, too.

  • bess marvin, girl detective says:

    Still doesn't beat the Transformers 2 reviews, but I'll take it.
    @sweetbiscuit: goes to show that men don't have the monopoly on making women look bad in film.

  • Lowbrow says:

    Deaf children.. stuck in an abandoned mine? Wait, and this is supposed to be a bad movie? I'm finally interested.

  • snickers says:

    Proof that Sandra Bullock is no longer just box office poison, she's the Touch of Death.

  • Art says:

    Number 8 sounds to me more like a positive comment.

  • MurasakiTurtle says:

    Um, did you live through the same summer I did? You know, the one with the huge hit "the Proposal"? (Haven't seen it, so this isn't a statement on it's quality)
    I don't think she's quite poison yet, dude.

  • ghd lisseur says:

    17. ce n’était pas de la chasse, plut?? D’A On est quatre ou cinq dans l’équipe à avoir été très proches de Thierry Rupert. c’est-à-dire exécutées par les chasseurs eux-mêmes en présence de la louveterie avec quotas imposés etcAdrien Robbe entendait ainsi protester de sa bonne foi : En 2010 dit-il nous avons tiré 131 sangliers 130 en 2009 100 en 2008 : on ne peut pas aller beaucoup plus loin sur un lot de 637ha Sa proposition n’a eu aucun effet affirmait-il alors qu’il s’apprêtait hier matin à se faire envahir par les acteurs de la battue et se faire dépouiller en plus du fruit de la venaison . Marion Bartoli. la reprise les locaux procédaient à pas moins de trois changements avec les sorties de deux autres cadres comme Michon et Welschinger Les Colmariens vont dès lors hausser leur niveau de jeu et Cakir (49e ) va déclencher une belle frappe aux 25 mètres qui allait avoir raison de Schneider Ce dernier sera ensuite sur la trajectoire de la tête de Cakir (57e ) tout comme il répondra encore présent à l’heure de jeu sur le tir de Brahmia Entre-temps à la 58e il sera épaulé par son coéquipier Stath qui sauvait sur la ligne de but ; signes manifestes que l’emprise était bien colmarienne et que l’étreinte n’était pas prête de se desserrer Car la jeune équipe locale éprouvait moult difficultés à approcher le but de Carnovale réduit au chmage Son vis-à-vis Schneider fera encore apprécier sa vista quand il mettra encore en échec Brahmia (81e ) en claquant le ballon du bout des phalanges Miollany dans le camp local allait quant à lui avoir la seule mais énorme occasion de remettre les deux camps à égalité mais Carnovale aura la main ferme (90e ) Dès lors les visiteurs se contenteront de ce mince avantage pour accéder aux demi-finales qui les verra affronter le vainqueur du match Schirrhein – Seltz et ce dans le Bas-RhinLes spectateurs bas-rhinois se consolaient largement avec la finale Kalava? dont tous les rivaux dans la course au maintien ont gagné, ? a accueilli une cinquantaine d'enfants des écoles maternelles La Sapinette et Coccinelles en compagnie du lapin de P?
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