Katy Perry vs. Avril Lavigne: Who'll Make a Better Idol Judge?


Avril Lavigne, the seven-year veteran of the almost-punk-pop mainstream, is scheduled to laugh at talentless hacks as part of the L.A. casting for American Idol. Colleague Katy Perry will guest-host on the second day of the L.A. dates, meaning the two singers' critical skills are bound to be compared. Who's going to win this competition of erudition, analytical expertise, and neon hair streaks?

Critical Thinking Skills

Though "I Kissed a Girl" is as overplayed as Days of Thunder on TBS, Katy Perry has so far 1) not called herself a "punk rocker," 2) not married the blond hedgehog from Sum41, and 3) not ripped off that Rubinoos "Girlfriend" song. These are all hallmarks of a trenchant Idol diagnostician, perhaps even a senator. Winner: Katy

Quip Potential

Katy's been known to spew a few bon mots, but I think I speak for everyone when I say I look forward to Avril throwing her red Coca Cola cup at Kara DioGuardi and barking, "NO MORE BRITNEYS, KAREN" at some time in the proceedings. Winner: Avril

Ability to Avoid Simon Cowell

Simon Cowell needs room for 1) full-paragraph diatribes, and for 2) his thrice-an-hour fifteen-minute breaks, where he stretches his Kodiak chest and mumbles about how Piers Morgan thinks he knows Greco-Roman wrestling but Simon could pin him in six minutes flat. Avril and Katy aren't known for their shyness, but they have to allow the Briton his huffing room. Katy can silently BBM with Ryan Seacrest, but Avril Lavigne will loudly caw on her cell with Perez Hilton. The phrase, "I am not a Valium-eyed mouth-breather!" may be uttered. When Simon hits his off-camera "angry" button, Terri Seymour will have no choice but to enter the room and aim the fire hose at the frowny Canadian. Winner: Katy

Name Recognition

Please. Randy Jackson will mistakenly call Katy Perry "Zooey" or "Not Paula" nine times out of ten. Winner: Avril

The Whole Package

Ultimately, Katy Perry is a cheekier, "more current" recording artist than Avril Lavigne, who was last seen losing a Three-Card Monte game to trickster Vanessa Carlton in Chino. Avril may be spunkier (and punkier, sure), but Katy's the one who will emerge from the giant faulty banana of American Idol as a mildly reliable source of knowledge. You don't survive years as a Christian singer without emerging as a hardened veteran. Winner: Katy



Comments

  • E says:

    i think katy perry would do gr8 job rather than avril
    i mean if avirl wouldbe a judge on ai
    she would laugh at every person she sees and sings

  • Daniel Lynem says:

    Arvril would make the best judge hands down. She is a pro and would bring that to her judging.

  • stolidog says:

    hahahahahaha, that was funny. She'll just spit on people.

  • USA says:

    It would be irritating to have Avril on AMERICAN Idol. It's bad enough with one non-citizen judging americans. How many of us are in Canada or the UK judging THEIR singers? Meh.

  • snute says:

    i think avril would be the best

  • sixhundred says:

    it was supposed to be a couple nights of good ol' mindless reality tv schadenfreude with our favorite (?) angst-at-the-food-court mall-rockers.
    why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?

  • Lowbrow says:

    The only thing Avril is qualified to judge is a Hot Topic sponsored strip mall catwalk competition.

  • Mike says:

    Whoever wrote this article didn't do their research - Avril and Perez HATE each other, and Katy Perry's the Perez Hilton suck-up.
    Avril could kick Katy Perry's ass any day of the week...

  • Anonymous says:

    I'd much rather look at Katy than Avril. It's not like I care what either of them would say, it's just Avril sucks amirite?

  • sugarrhill says:

    Isn't Avril Canadian? Give that job to an American, for Christ's sake! We're still in a recession.

  • Robin says:

    1. Avril has never called herself Punkrocker. She even said that she is not.
    2. Girlfriend is not a copy of the Rubinoos song.
    3. She can sing live unlike Katy. You should watch their performances at Youtube.
    4. You should not judge her for her husband. They are a great couple.

  • sarah says:

    Katy perry stole the song title "I kissed a girl" from 90's singer Jill Sobule heres a exert from rolling stone magazine : "Jill Sobule Slams Katy Perry Over Borrowing Title “I Kissed a Girl”“In truth, she wrote it with a team of professional writers and was signed by the very same guy that signed me in 1995. I have not mentioned that in interviews as I don’t want to sound bitter or petty… ’cause, that’s not me.” quoted from jill sobule.
    Katy wasn't so current when she hooked up with Avril's former producing team "the matrix" in 2004 with a album that didn't get picked up by record labels.
    What advice would katy give? sound like a air raid siren? telling from last years performance the answer would be yes. I saw Avril on "canadian idol" a couple years back and she sounded great live, it's a rarity that a pop singer sounds as good live as they do recorded.

  • OMG Katy Perry is so hot she should ditch Russell Brand and go with me.

  • […] they actually do. You know the types. “Oh, my music library is diverse.” Listening to Katy Perry AND Avril Lavigne, or Journey AND Kansas does not an eclectic music palate make. If you love Led Zeppelin AND Yanni, […]

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