Paula Abdul to Host Lesser, Passenger Airline-Flying Divas

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Paula Abdul is slated to host VH1's first Divas Live special since 2004, set to air September 17. The ousted American Idol judge and Grammy-winning Vibeologist will introduce a klatch of liberally defined "divas," including Miley Cyrus, Jordin Sparks, Leona Lewis, Kelly Clarkson, and Adele. Apparently "diva" means "any female singer" now, so I expect that La Toya Jackson and Victoria Beckham will round up their press junkets here with a quick medley of "Shame" (featuring a surprise appearance from Evelyn "Champagne" King!) and "Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves" (featuring a still-onstage Evelyn "Champagne" King).

Divas Live used to host trilling women of stature, if memory serves. Carole King once accompanied Shania Twain, Celine Dion, and Gloria Estefan on a spectacular version of "(You Make Me Feel Like a) Natural Woman." Meanwhile, the "veteran" among this new group of upstarts is Kelly Clarkson, who started her music career in 2002. Yikes.

But while this lineup isn't necessarily final, and while Paula's diva-appropriate mode of transport to the Howard Gilman Opera House remains undetermined, one thing seems certain: This event is ripe for a Whitney Houston third-act arrival. Her new album can be streamed at her website, and girl-child, it's rough. I wouldn't be surprised if on the night of Divas Live she looked obsolescence in the mirror, shouted 15 sassy non-sequiturs, dashed to the theater, and loosed a quaking rendition of "I'm Every Woman." (With Billy Ray Cyrus's daughter.)

The Legendary Paula Abdul to Host 'VH1 Divas' [VH1]