Avatar's First Cover

· Empire previewed their special Avatar issue online today, which they call "the movie event of the decade," and which features this never-before-seen image of Sam Worthington failing to point out massive plot holes to his director, like the fact that you can't actually implant someone's soul into a ten-foot-tall blue cat-eyed thing.

· Leonardo DiCaprio is on a crash diet to lose 30 pounds, Radar reports, for a fight scene required of him in Inception in which he's supposed to "appear emaciated." This is where exclusively dating models can give the average leading man a leg-up.

· Sorry, folks. The Robert Pattinson Shower Curtain is completely sold out. Can we interest you in a Happy Na'vi one instead? They're pretty similar.

· After 26 years, Le Var Burton has finally reached the end of the Reading Rainbow.

· Pop culture porn parodists New Sensations have run into a minor bump in the road, having been slapped with a cease and desist from Fox legal over their upcoming The Sex Files: A Dark XXX Parody. (We would have gone with The Sex Files: I Want to Be D.P.'d, but I guess the issue is moot at this point.)

· Chris Brown was sentenced to five years' probation and six months' community labor for assaulting Rihanna, and was ordered to stay away from her for the next five years. On the plus side, he's become a master at the ancient, tableside preparation of Hibachi Scallops.


  • Furious D says:

    1. I think someone should have told Cameron that spaceships use "wormholes" to jump light-years thru space, not plot holes.
    2. He's already been taught the wonders of ipecac as a diet aid.
    3. It's sort of ironic that Pattinson's on a shower curtain, since his hair looks like he's never seen one. WASH YOUR GODDAMN HAIR!
    4. I think it was the episode where he read the works of the Marquis De Sade was what killed the show.
    5. Well Paramount better not interfere with my production of Sex Trek: Deep Throat 9, because my lawyers are ready to fight!
    6. Damn judge, he didn't stop Chris Brown from making any more shitty albums!

  • VoV says:

    1. Who really cares what Sam Worthington thinks about the plot holes in this film, his last film, or any other film he takes despite the plot holes he actually understands in the script.
    2. And if he can't ask the models how they do it, call up old co-star Tom Hanks, he's gone on crash diets and lived to tell the tale.
    3. Sure, but can you dirty up the Na'vi version's hair a bit? Pattinson's hair was never that clean!
    4. So sad. What's next for Le Var? So he did two decades on a PBS children's series, seven seasons and four major Star Trek films, and several books. Dancing With the Stars!?
    5. Really FOX? You have a problem with porn parodies of decade-old television shows that most of the world didn't even watch?
    6. Great. Can the courts also order him against making any more YouTube apologies? That was the real crime that took place.

  • SunnydaZe says:

    Apparently, Rupert Murdoch doesn't watch Skinemax --