Movieline Predicts 5 Sketches From the Megan Fox-Hosted SNL Season Opener

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Saturday Night Live just announced the host of its 35th season premiere, and it's not an unfunny basketball player (Lebron James, season 33) or an unfunny Olympian (Michael Phelps, season 34). Nope, it's Megan Fox, the star of daily Maxim photo spreads and over one movie. Mind you, Fox hasn't landed enough marquees to prove herself either funny or unfunny. I imagine she's nervous ahead of her primetime debut, and so I've penned five pitches for the young actress.

1. The oft-recycled Celebrity Jeopardy! skit returns again, this time with Megan playing that bon mot-spewing low-life Scarlett Johannson. When Will Ferrell (surprise!) reads the Final Jeopardy clue, which says, "Spell your own name," Megan can enjoy a good laugh at the expense of Scarlett's actually illustrious career and write, "Mrs. Woody Allen."

2. Heeding the need to promote the cannibal caper Jennifer's Body as well as assuage the cries of America, Megan actually eats Darrell Hammond. As his shrieks and limbs recede into TV history, Megan Fox turns to the camera, flashes a wink, and deadpans, "He wouldn't leave otherwise." Studio 8H erupts in applause, hugs.

3. In a send-up of the Teen Choice Awards, Megan plays an out-of-control Miley Cyrus, humping stripper poles on ice cream carts and licking the stage area in front of a scandalized Taylor Swift (Abby Elliott). At some point, the sketch forsakes its plot simply to point out that Miley Cyrus talks like the serial-killer walkie-talkie voice from Joy Ride.

4. In a special Transformers edition of MacGruber, Megan needs MacGruber to spring her from the bandeau top and Daisy Dukes that the nefarious Michael Bay (Seth Meyers) has trapped her in, but MacGruber keeps requesting strange odds and ends like a potato and copper wiring. Three seconds before the bomb lodged in Megan's waistline explodes, she finally realizes that MacGruber was just building a cleavage-aimed light bulb the whole time. "Well, I may blow first," explains MacGruber. Ka-boom.

5. Lastly, Megan realizes she has not been given worker's compensation after an arduous car-washing shoot for FHM. Listing off her injuries, she mentions "a momentarily flattened boob, wasted manicure, a gash on my ass from a snapped fan belt, and one instance of almost-drowning." But she's not getting any sympathy from this head of human resources -- it's the monotone but irrepressibly horny Chevy Chase. A new cameo record!

Megan Fox: Saturday Night Live Premiere Host! [JustJared]



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