How Did You Make Enough Money For This Mansion?

Joan Rivers demonstrated last week that the road to self-promotion is not always insult-free. Fortunately, the local television segments will end since her schticky TV Land show, How'd You Get So Rich? premieres tonight. Expect cringe-worthy lines of questioning in between shots of Joan riding a lawnmower, Joan jumping into a gold-plated fountain and Joan trying to communicate with a Spanish-speaking maid.

How'd You Get So Rich? [10 PM, TVLand]

Joan Rivers wanders into her first few mansions tonight to bluntly ask their owners how they made their dough. Rivers will meet a multimillionaire who started out as a Harvard janitor before grilling a guy who folded sweaters at a mall before making it big.

Giuliana & Bill [9 PM, Style]

It seems like only yesterday that Bill Rancic was outperforming Kwame and Omarosa in rickshaw related challenges on The Apprentice. Five years later, Rancic has a new reality venture that is fueled by honeymoon phase fluff. In the premiere, Bill and his new wife, E! correspondent Giuliana DePandi, plan their move to Chicago while Giuliana works the red carpet at the Teen Choice Awards.

Top Chef Masters [10 PM, Bravo]

Quirky crush-object Zooey Deschanel throws Top Chef Masters contestants a curve ball tonight with her extensive dietary restrictions during a catering challenge. Her and Morgan Spurlock's appearances later in the episode (I'm guessing it will have something to do with hamburgers) infuse the Bravo program with enough indie-cred to attract non-foodies.

Down to You [9 PM, Lifetime]

There was a brief window after She's All That where Freddie Prinze Jr. was the hottest young actor to hit the multiplexes. Down to You captures Prinze at the height of his fame, while making it clear why his star didn't grow into a beautiful constellation with side swept bangs like Zac Efron's.