Today Headline Expects Tired Americans to Count Jacksons Early in Morning
Note: The following scene played out across countless living rooms today during The Today Show's third hour. We're assuming.
Party 1: The Today Show is running a story about the Jackson family entitled "Joe and Kate Plus 9." Too soon?
Party 2. Oh. Because of the Jon & Kate.
Party 1: Yeah.
[Long pause]
Party 2: Wait, who are the 9?
Party 1: Well, the three kids, probably.
Party 2: Probably.
Party 1: And the titular Joe & Kate.
Party 2: No, they're excluded, I would think. Reread the headline.
Party 1: OK then...the surviving members of the Jackson 5?
Party 2: Can you name them?
Party 1: Jermaine. Tito. Was Marlon a Wayans or a Jackson?
Party 2: Let's move on. So, that's four surviving Jackson Fivers plus the three kids.
Party 1: Plus Joe & Kate, that's nine.
Party 2: No, no Joe & Kate. Janet and LaToya.
Party 1: Oh yeah. That's the nine.
Party 2: Yes. Yes it is. We've learned a lot.
[Long pause]
Party 1: Fuck you, Ann Curry.
Comments
You had me at "Fuck you, Ann Curry".
Yeah but Charlie had three Angels so it does make sense.
But wait.. you forgot about Rebbe and Randy.. they weren't in the Jackson 5.
Crap! How can we add them without upsetting the formula?
Don't forget to show your work.
Is that Liza Minnelli on the left?