Today Headline Expects Tired Americans to Count Jacksons Early in Morning


Note: The following scene played out across countless living rooms today during The Today Show's third hour. We're assuming.

Party 1: The Today Show is running a story about the Jackson family entitled "Joe and Kate Plus 9." Too soon?

Party 2. Oh. Because of the Jon & Kate.

Party 1: Yeah.

[Long pause]

Party 2: Wait, who are the 9?

Party 1: Well, the three kids, probably.

Party 2: Probably.

Party 1: And the titular Joe & Kate.

Party 2: No, they're excluded, I would think. Reread the headline.

Party 1: OK then...the surviving members of the Jackson 5?

Party 2: Can you name them?

Party 1: Jermaine. Tito. Was Marlon a Wayans or a Jackson?

Party 2: Let's move on. So, that's four surviving Jackson Fivers plus the three kids.

Party 1: Plus Joe & Kate, that's nine.

Party 2: No, no Joe & Kate. Janet and LaToya.

Party 1: Oh yeah. That's the nine.

Party 2: Yes. Yes it is. We've learned a lot.

[Long pause]

Party 1: Fuck you, Ann Curry.



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