Shocking New Ads Link Youthful Trampoline-Jumping to Scientology


It's recruiting season again at the Church of Scientology, where three stylish new TV spots make all the drama of life -- including love, chocolate and "kids on trampolines" -- seem insurmountable without the aid of a gauzy camera filter and, I presume, a dogeared copy of Dianetics on your nightstand. But is Hollywood's greatest indigenous religion pushing the wrong message? Are paper clips really a gateway office supply to OT-VIII glory? Judge for yourself and join the debate after the jump.

As noted at The Live Feed, the Church's TV presence no doubt required some updating; the staid, infamous "Volcano" spot had gone out of style probably around the same time as leg warmers. (And 3 a.m. Battlefield Earth reruns don't count.) The glossy new commercials eschew all that old stuff, opting instead for quick-cut, multi-ethnic youth and beauty -- kind of like a bank ad, come to think of it, which I suppose makes sense under the circumstances. Except this bank will dry your tears, fix your love life, and lead you straight to "the truth." And Xenu won't go hat-in-hand lobbying Congress for a bailout. Does this stuff sell itself, or what?

· Church of Scientology [via The Live Feed]


  • no-L says:

    I'm skeered of these commercials.
    I wonder if people in the videos know that they're being used for scientology commercials... hmm.

  • Old No.7 says:

    This marketing campaign is way too glib.

  • Cappy says:

    I have been on a film shoots with their production company. They ONLY use Scientologists, who are very happy to be in the commercials. The church even has it's own production company to do film work and create media for the membership - Golden Era Productions. I must say they were the most courteous, polite, and easy to work with production crew I have ever worked around, and that goes for the talent as well. Maybe that's a coincidence, and then again maybe not...

  • MCU says:

    Man, aren't these just a little A Clockwork Orange?
    They remind me of the bit in The Game where Michael Douglas is staring at random flashes of images and text as a psychology test.
    If you're forced into this kind of visual-stimulus associative advertising, isn't your religion kinda fucked, religiousively speaking?
    Sad to see they lost the volcano.

  • el smrtmnky says:

    they give me a not so fresh feeling

  • Tod Hackett says:

    I was thinking The Parallax View... I guess brainwashing tactics never really change all that much...

  • Inhaler says:

    No Cameo from Offer "Vince" Shlomi (AKA The ShamWow Guy)? Bummer.

  • sweetbiscuit says:


  • daveed says:

    From a marketing standpoint, these are just horrible. It's not surprising, coming from an org like $cientology, that these say absolutely nothing. Except "see-say" -- telling you what you are already seeing on the screen. Even the tone and visuals have this dated 1990s vibe, the kind you usually saw in oil company commercials or other vilified insitutions.
    The fact is, Co$ cannot express in public what they actually believe for fear of ridicule and loss of revenue. So they go for vague self-help sentimentality. No wonder they go with their own production company -- they've already bought into the fiction.

  • LLH says:

    with the soothing music and the gentle tone of the voice over guy i *almost* believed what i was seeing. is that what they call brainwashing?

  • Aqua says:

    The commercials as a whole are barftastic, but that big around 0:39, handing out supplies? Notice how they didn't show who actually brought them.
    Hint: It's not the Scientologists.

  • Sseter says:

    Very generic and VERY vague. They have modeled the ads this way because if they were to really tell viewers "the truth" (or their idea of it) it would suredly repulse prospective follows from going to the website and such.
    They draw you in with a non-disconcerting message so you inquire into their belief later on your own free will. Age-old marketing tactic. Another example of this is for instance a rhumethroid arthritis ad for a medication that does not actually state the name of the med or any info about it, you eventually learn about through the website or phone number they direct you to go to. I rest my case