60.6 Million Reasons Michael Bay Will Continue To Make Movies


Despite inspiring film criticism to new metaphor heights in describing the depths to which mainstream Hollywood movies have plunged -- tossing out everything short of comparing it to "the subway tunnel rape scene in Irreversible, where Michael Bay's vision is the rapist, Monica Bellucci is us, and her violated rectum is the current state of American cinema" -- Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen has proven itself to be utterly review-proof, shattering Wednesday box office records by pulling in an astonishing, GNP-of-a-small-country-esque $60.6 million. (The last record-holder was Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, whose $44.2 million seems but a blob of Hippogriff poop by comparison.)

The midnight screenings alone earned $16 million, putting it third behind The Dark Knight ($18.5 million) and Star Wars: Episode III -- Revenge of the Sith ($16.9 million). As Skids might say, "Daz be a 'hoooo lodda cheddah! Cans you ordah lunch? I can'z be readin duh orderin' papuh." Fallen is performing just as well overseas, grossing short of $20 milion and outpacing the first Transformers in Australian and Korean markets. It's expected to earn between $150 million and $170 million over the five-day weekend -- more than enough to ensure director Michael Bay will be given whatever financial resources he needs to mount a third, even more spectacularly headache-inducing installment tying up the 1270 loose-threads left dangling at sequel's end. [Variety]


  • Christopher says:

    "GNP of a small country" will NEVER get old, will it?

  • JudgeFudge says:

    I'm sending my congratulatory note, as well voucher for one year's worth of Hooked on Phonics, to the Bay residence, post-haste.

  • NoWireHangers says:

    A Roger Ebert review can't keep the American viewing public away from a beckoning summer schlockbuster filled with explosions, boobs, one-liners, and stereotypes. That's the truth that built Hollywood. Imagine a world where 13-year-old boys stopped to contemplate the objectification of women before rubbing one out. Truly frightening. That said, I too will go see this piece of crap, but at least I'll approach it skeptically and heavily under the influence.

  • John M says:

    'As Skids might say, “Daz be a ‘hoooo lodda cheddah! Cans you ordah lunch? I can’z be readin duh orderin’ papuh.”'
    Goddamn you, this made me choke in laughter. In public.
    Also--prediction? So many people seeing TRANSFORMERS this weekend will hate it that it won't continue on its merry course. A bad movie's one thing, a bad 2.5 hour movie starts sounding like, "Eh, I'll get it on Netflix."