Introducing David Johnson: The Susan Boyle Of Loan Officers With Crushes On David Hasselhoff


· He brought tears to my eyes, and will do the same for you.

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· Batfight! Batfight! True Blood's Stephen Moyer had this to say about New Moon's Robert Pattinson: "He's a pussy! He's the Slim-Fast, Diet Coke of vampires." He also overshares about intimacies with co-star Anna Paquin, with whom he's been carrying on an affair for 10 months: "I keep my mouth open and let her probe around the sharpness of the teeth...Which is kind of erotic." Suckehhhh. [Marie Claire via ONTD]

· The hilarious Gov. Mark Sanford "Honey, I'm just stepping out to Buenos Aires for a pack of smokes -- be back in a bit" sex scandal is the gift that keeps on giving. The latest dirt to emerge are copies of love e-mails he wrote to his Argentinian mistress: "I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night's light..."

· Zachary Quinto explains a bit more about the bizarre YouTube video in which he's caught by paparazzi tripping while accompanied by a giant walking stead and butcher. It has something to do with a friend's show called buddy 'n' andy. Yeah -- that doesn't really explain anything.

· Emma Watson tells Teen Vogue she has no "burning passion" for acting and that "until something comes along that I feel as strongly about as I did Hermione -- like, I felt that it was life or death -- I don't want to act again."