Everything But John Cusack Destroyed in 2012 Trailer


The first full trailer for the Roland Emmerich disaster epic 2012 is online, introduced by the filmmaker himself in a decidedly downmarket, casual-day-at-Sony greeting. And as you yell at the monitor to simply get to the apocalypse, just take a moment to know how good you've got it before the main attraction begins. It's all downhill -- blazingly, floodingly so -- from there.

Generally the purpose of The Two-Minute Verdict is to gauge the success of a trailer's sales pitch, but in the case of an Emmerich punch in the face, we face a far more binary reaction:

· Like John Cusack? You're going.

· Are you in prison? You're not going.

· Easily persuaded by CGI so bad it's good? You're going.

· Allergic to popcorn? You're not going.

· Want to see an aircraft carrier wipe out the White House? You're going.

· Blind and deaf? You're not going.

· Want to see the Earth reduced to nothing but swirling waves and Lloyd Dobler hanging out in a life vest? You're going.

· Recounting ballots in Iran? You're not going.

· Related to the filmmaker? You're going -- incognito, though, and only if he treats you to a pool party afterward.

Who did I miss?

VERDICT: See above.

· 2012 Trailer [Yahoo! Movies]

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  • Furious D says:

    I guess I'm not going, because I find that John Cusack veers from bland to annoying, that and being on death row and all...
    Wait a minute, they don't have the death penalty in Canada!
    Man, my lawyer sucks.

  • Inhaler says:

    It doesn't matter how many trench coats we wear while holding ghetto blasters in 2012's general direction, we will not win it's favor.

  • Pats says:

    YES! Everyman for himself. The hell with you losers. (Sarcasm, folks.)
    Wouldn't that just be peachy if our species was continued by the most selfish, self serving? Darwin, what say you?

  • CiscoMan says:

    Do you think Roland Emmerich has a bunch of flash cards with various disasters on them that he shuffles together when he writes a screenplay?
    ...I'm going.

  • LLH says:

    that looks AWESOME!! every disaster from every single disaster movie all rolled up into ONE?! genuis i say! 😉

  • sweetbiscuit says:

    I'm going, if I can find my epilepsy medicine. And a life jacket.