Old Dogs, Same Tricks

You know how sometimes there's a comedy trailer that's so aggressively formulaic and awful that you can pretty much guarantee you're going to see it shown before every single movie until the film in question finally comes out? (And even then, two weeks after, you'll probably go to some weird theater you've never been to before and they'll start playing this trailer and you'll shout, "What? No! This is out already!")

I'm pretty sure Old Dogs is going to be that movie for us.

We've got the trailer for this movie (starring Robin Williams and John Travolta's elaborate hairpiece) down below, and I don't even know where to begin. Robin Williams hits a little boy in the face with a ball. Seth Green is hit in the crotch (there always has to be one of these). There is also a title card that says "From the director of Wild Hogs," and it's meant to be inviting!

As near as I can figure, the plot of this film is that Kelly Preston tells Robin Williams that he actually has two children she never revealed to him, and then he faints (a real thing people do). Then, for some reason, Williams and Travolta must go camping with the children; I assume they're saving the part where Robin Williams SUES THE PANTS OFF KELLY PRESTON for after? I would describe this in more depth but we all know we're going to see this eight thousand more times, so let's just hunker down and say some novenas.

VERDICT: Needs to be put down.