Susan Boyle: What Happens Now?
Like the tragic Lennie in Of Mice and Men, the tale of Susan Boyle has reached its sad climax: after petting our defiantly unpretty new pet for weeks, we've crushed the life out of Boyle, leaving her hospitalized for an emotional breakdown. (Yes, we're the Lennie -- what did you think I meant?) So what happens now for the Britain's Got Talent runner-up?
Though Boyle's hospitalization certainly won't curb the media's fascination with her, it at least cuts down on the obligatory appearances she has to make now that the show is over (and perhaps accounts for her surprise loss -- if the judges saw Boyle breaking down over the past week, they might have known that she'd be unable to fulfill her winner's duties). The result, then, is that her future is largely up to her.
Certainly, she'll have plenty of offers: a record contract from Simon Cowell, a deluge of media requests, and the by-now-standard million-dollar offer to cameo in a porn film. (The dream she dreamed? X-rated.) Still, Boyle would do best to turn down all offers but the record contract, keeping a low profile until it produced something to promote. Interviews would only fan the flames of paparazzi attention at a time when the singer seems unable to cope with it.
Boyle's ascent produced a lot of self-congratulatory commentary - "Isn't it great that anybody can be a star?" people cooed -- but what was often left out of the equation is that being a star is profoundly fucked-up (as anyone who's ever braved the insane gauntlet of a red carpet would know). The YouTube sensation to end all YouTube sensations, Boyle was rushed to a summit of media stardom so abrupt and towering that it would give even Paris Hilton vertigo. Is it any wonder that under that constant scrutiny, she snapped? Sure, when we first met ol' Sue, we cried, "Enough, Already," but it's time for Boyle herself to embrace that mantra -- and now, it's for her own good.