Four Guesses For What Mattel/Universal's Monster Toy Musical Might Be

Variety reports that Universal has "made a big-bucks deal" to acquire the screen rights to a Mattel toy that has yet to see store shelves. They plan to adapt this top secret line into a live-action musical produced by musical maestros Craig Zadan and Neil Meron, with a score by Hairspray/South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut composers Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman. This would mark the first time the toy company licensed a product that isn't yet on the market, or, for that matter, isn't even public knowledge. Clearly delighting in building buzz, the creative team has dropped a few hints:

· The property adds a "fresh twist to monster lore."

· The property has "broad family appeal and the ability to translate as a musical, (in) publishing and (to) other venues."

· It's drives the Gays wild with potential. Said Wittman, "Neil and I have been looking for an original movie musical franchise for several years, and we feel this one is it."

· It has staying power. Zadan: "It really has long-term potential, and it will spin the monster genre on its ear."

If there's anything we love more than a good mystery, it's a mystery involving monsters, showtunes, and collectibles. Now it's time to pull up our Nancy Drew knee-socks and get to deducing what this incredible singing-mutant-toy-line might be!


1. Guess #1: Wereformers

Concept: Arrived from outer space, they move among us looking like vehicles and appliances, but turn into furry, murderous beasts under a full moon.

Sample product: Pogo, the Segway/Rottweiler mix.

Potential song: "My Clutch Has Fleas."


2. Guess #3: Vampz

Concept: A collection of 10", bloodsucking fashion dolls, distinguished by large heads, almond-shaped eyes adorned with eyeshadow, and sharp fangs hanging over lush, glossy lips.

Sample product: Ynez, the Latina Vamp.

Potential song: "V-A-M-P-Z, Welcome to Our Family!"


3. Guess #4: MechaBarbie and Fran-Ken-Stein

Concept: After a horrible accident sees her pink Corvette flying off PCH, the world's top mad scientists work around the clock to save the lives of the most beloved doll couple in the universe. The result of their freakish endeavors: the cyborg MechaBarbie, and Fran-Ken-Stein, her surfer boyfriend made entirely of spare parts harvested from other suitors.

Sample products: The MechaBarbie Dream Tank with Destructo™ Laser Beams, Fran-Ken-Stein Scare 'Em Up™ Tiki Torches.

Potential song: "I Give You My Hand (But I Want it Back)"


4. Guess #5: The Zombeez

Concept: An all-girl rock group is the biggest thing on the charts -- but they're also secretly brain-craving zombies. How long can they keep up this charade and live the best of both worlds? As long as they have to!

Sample product: Chloë Zombee, the group's bassist and unofficial den mother.

Potential song: "(Brains, Brains, Brains) I Got the Hunger"

· Universal in tune with Mattel monster [Variety]


  • Inhaler says:

    My Guess: Jewpires
    Concept: This ageless society of Jewish men and women want to drain your blood, and your wallet! Think Matisyahu with fangs; hip, frugal, and scary as hell.
    Sample product: Von Hershel, a young rogue vampire with a lust for ladies and challah.
    Potential song: "Abi Gezunt (I'll Change That)"