J.J. Abrams to Revitalize Outdated Supreme Court Franchise

Burdened with a high-profile property steadily gathering dust and increasingly out of touch with public tastes, the California Legislature has enlisted franchise-resuscitating miracle-worker J.J. Abrams to inject some much-needed adrenaline and progressively minded storytelling into its hopelessly dated State Supreme Court.

As envisioned by Abrams, the bench is suddenly sucked into a logic vacuum; moments later, they tumble through a tear in the Constitutional Rights Continuum and find themselves 40 years younger, where they are granted the uncanny opportunity to revisit future gigantic errors in judgment. An all-star cast led by Shia LaBeouf, Scarlett Johannson, Megan Fox and Zac Efron have already signed on. Abrams, meanwhile, has pledged to remain faithful to the source material, beginning with the familiar opening credo that began every mission: "Gays, the final frontier. These are the Justices of the Supreme Court California. Their five-year mission: to explore strange new laws. To seek out new interpretations and new hypocrisies. To boldly ban where no man has banned before.

Ooooooh-aaaaahhhhh....oooh-ooh-ooh-ahhhhhh...."



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