Robert Pattinson as You've Never Seen Him Rolling Around Lustily with Another Dude Before

· We'd like to ask that all Robert Pattinson's impressionable young fans ("SQUEEEEEEEEEEEAL!") kindly turn away for a moment that we might share this tender love scene opposite Javier Beltran in Little Ashes. [via Towleroad]

· The Onion News Network brings us this report on die-hard Trekkies who emerged from Star Trek feeling J.J. Abrams had done the franchise an unconscionable disservice by making it good.

· Breaking: Paula Abdul admits to maybe having had a tiny, little prescription drug habit. But here's the good news: 15 surgeries, some yoga, and a couple spiritual workshops later, she's feeling good as new, and ready to kick the crap out of that Kara DioGuardi bitch.

· Here's the new CHANEL N°5 ad by Jean-Pierre Jeunet, starring Audrey Tautou and a boy so pretty he practically makes Tautou seem dowdy by comparison as the star-crossed lovers.

· This is the naughty shot that could cost opposite-marriage activist Carrie Prejean her Miss California crown. Tsk tsk, Miss Prejean. Anita Bryant would not approve of such prurience.