He's A Screamer
Imagine a world where time was an arbitrary construct and thus the GUIDE button on your remote was no longer functional. How would anyone know when American Idol was on? We'd like to think that Adam Lambert would stand on top of Fox Plaza and project his beautiful banshee screams throughout the troposphere, announcing the arrival of America's favorite show and disrupting air traffic in the Greater Southwest. Murdoch, it's sweeps. Think about it.
American Idol [8 PM, Fox]
The contestants sink their teeth into Rat Pack standards this week and we try to pretend that there is a dark horse in the field. The only real suspense is how cheesy the Ford ad will be, but even that's an academic matter. Two days ago, Slash twittered that AI approached him to be a mentor during the upcoming Rock Week. In addition to musical technique, let's hope Slash shares some insights about home herpetology.
The Biggest Loser: Couples [8 PM, NBC]
The remaining contestants turn the tables on Bob and Jillian by working them out before they try on their goal outfits. Then they return home for a month - on their own - and prep for the final show-down-weigh-in. Unlike American Idol where it is possible to have a favorite, everyone on this show is pretty annoying in spite of their personal stories of survival. That's probably a consequence of the editing, because they seem like nice people when they return home to pass judgment on their still-overweight families.
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit [10 PM, NBC]
After Idol, there's nothing like a shot of baby disappearance drama to remind you that the world is a terrible place. Gail O'Grady guests as a woman whose granddaughter goes missing. Hilary Duff appears as O'Grady's irresponsible daughter who becomes the prime suspect in the case. Christopher Meloni's character also gets really mad at someone (we're guessing).
Lottery Changed My Life II [8 PM, TLC]
Everything changes when you win the lottery, but not entirely for the better. That's the conventional wisdom guiding this slice of various lives. We're not sure if this is supposed to be a cautionary tale, but at least TLC is scheduling programming that doesn't involve multiple births or little people.