Watch This: Joan and Melissa Rivers's Celebrity Apprentice Meltdown


The last we checked in with The Celebrity Apprentice -- a season fraught with internecine conflict -- Dennis Rodman was shouting something about vertical workflow as he stuffed Clint Black into a Coleman cooler. The ugliness didn't end there, as things have grown quite contentious between the Rivers women and Melissa's surviving female teammates -- poker champion Annie Duke, and Brande Roderick, Playboy Playmate and the entrepreneurial force behind

The drama starts in a tenser-than-usual boardroom, where the younger Rivers accuses the two women of partaking in cabalistic activities that may or may not have included the wearing of Slankets, the slaughtering of kittens, and the drawing of pentagrams on discarded swatches of red carpet. Things deteriorate quickly from there, with terms like "whore pit vipers" -- the loosest of all deadly, pit-dwelling reptiles -- being casually tossed about. All this builds to the shocking climax, when the fiercely protective mama puma (with a face to match) confronts Annie the Texas Hold'em Nazi, spitting, "You are a poker player. A poker player ... Poker players are trash dahling. TRASH!!!" The poker world may never recover.

· The Celebrity Apprentice [NBC]


  • Old No.7 says:

    At this point, I think the puppet from Wayland & Madame can give better facial expressions than Joan Rivers. They both seem to handle someone's fist up their ass equally well, however.

  • NoWireHangers says:

    While Joan's face calls to mind Gizmo the mogwai, the fur coat and mother/daughter defense team channeled Grey Gardens. Instead of raccoons they had pit vipers. I can hear Melissa screaming in the elevator as she tears out her hair, "But she's a POKER PLAYER, Mother Darling!"

  • junkie says:

    I love how Melissa kept complaining that Annie and Brande were "sooooo high school" then she threw the most childish tantrum of anyone in the history of the show. Talk about a spoiled brat.

  • Reason says:

    I haven't been watching this, but Melissa seems to be continuing her track record of not understanding what a reality tv competition is. A few years back when she was on the dismal "Get Me Out of Here; I'm a Celebrity!" she turned her nose up at some ridiculous challenge involving spiders or something, marched back to the camp, threw down her bag and dramatically announced to the group, "They're trying to make us look like fools!!"
    Who exactly was "they," I wondered. Her agents?
    She came across as a spoiled, untalented, and charmless lump, who didn't understand that she herself had chosen this undignified way to make a living. I see she still hasn't made the connection between the checks she's cashing and the pools of swill she's asked to swim in.

  • Hamish Blake says:

    please dump the automatic comments here.