Why I'm Passing on Rosemary Gravy by Mia Farrow
Beginning this Monday, I, Mia Farrow, star of The Omen (the 2006 remake, not the original) and Be Kind Rewind, will embark upon a hunger strike to raise solidarity for the hunger-ravaged citizens of Darfur. My doctors have warned me against this, saying that a 64-year-old woman probably couldn't subsist on only water for 21 days, but I have told them there is no way to talk me out of it.
I'm an incredibly stubborn person. Just ask Frank Sinatra (if he were still alive), who served me with divorce papers after I flatly refused to pull out of Rosemary's Baby to star in The Detectives. Or the adoption agency who expressed concerns that I might be spreading myself too thin (pardon the expression) when I brought my 14th and 15th wonderful children, Thaddeus and Gabriel, into my life.
Well phooey on the naysayers. Sometimes one's principles and higher calling trump the probability of permanent and irreversible damage to their internal organs. Look. I'm just an actress. But I'm a pretty good one, and while I may not be up for the Angelina Jolie roles anymore (and by the way, Angie: you're welcome to join me, if you think your 34-year-old body can hack it), I still throw around enough weight (pardon the expression) in this town to get a big shot like Steven Spielberg to pull out of the Olympics.
So do me a favor, everyone, will you? Instead of worrying about what's going to happen to me over the next 21 days, channel some of that distress into what's happening in Darfur. Because unlike the twisted carryings on of the dirty old man you thought was the love of your life, there are some injustices in this world that you can actually do something about.