This Earth Day, Join Disney in Terrifying Your Kids at the Movies


Happy Earth Day! Movieline HQ's efforts to go green largely failed this morning after our all-natural wheatgrass servers refused to boot up, but Plan B is almost as good for the planet. Take this high-quality, 100% recycled controversy about DisneyEarth's debut film Earth, which, according to Newsweek, features scenes of imminent danger, death and catastrophe too intense to warrant a G rating. Nonsense, writes Jeffrey Wells, who has vividly earthy reasons of his own to toughen the little buggers up:

When I was three years old I saw a neighbor chop a chicken's head off, and then watched as the chicken's body ran around a bit with the arterial blood spurting out. I was a little bit freaked by this, sure, but I didn't faint and probably learned something from it also. [...] Not long after a little black cocker spaniel puppy who belonged to a little neighborhood girlfriend of mine was run over by a garbage truck. The poor thing had been flattened into a black puppy pancake with the guts splattered and the tongue sticking way out. I'll never forget that tongue. The episode taught me that life can end in a blink of an eye. It was awful to see -- traumatic is the word -- but it also made me a little stronger, I think, or at least a little tougher.

Really, this explains so much. But enough about puppy pancakes, certified organic or not. Have you hugged your planet today?

· Where the Wild Things Die [Newsweek]

· Kids and Death [Hollywood Elsewhere]


  • T.Holly says:

    Devin Faraci tooted a few rules of blogging. Wells obeys part of Devin's rule 6) about adding content (even if its puppy pancakes). Sometimes, Wells breaks rule 5) "Don't copy and paste all relevant information from someone else's story. Give readers a REASON to click through."
    Anyway, I'm a big kid, and I don't want to watch lions eat an elephant. (Wonder if it'll get an ounce of the outrage O&R got for two shallow thrusts and a cop out line.),0,476061.story

  • cafe au lait says:

    Who doesn't have a few tongues they'd like to forget?

  • Hannah says:

    This is probably the worst article I've ever read. Right or wrong. Lose the angst.

  • lo says:

    The whole earth coming to an end, or tidal waves devistating cities is a MUCH BIGGER deal than a puppy being hit by a car! Whoever wrote this needs to think before they have enough fears to deal with as it is... do we need to create MORE stress for them... oh, wait... we do if we want to NIGHTMARE them into going green! I think they call that brainwashing!

  • D.S.S.R says:

    OMG, I just happen to read this because it caught my eye. Anyways, If people would worry about themselves and what they are doing instead of everybody else we might go somewhere. Is teaching brainwashing? I guess we could put up a wall and keep everything/everyone out we dont like and live under government rule. Oh, wait a minute, they tried that once. I think it was Russia. Everyone has a opinion, I get it. Put the computer/TV away. the gameboys, etc, go outside and do something. What ever you like. Hurry though, LImited time offer!

  • Old No.7 says:

    Don't ever underestimate the impact killing chickens can have on a young mind. Why, I can recall one summer afternoon when I went into the backyard and saw my neighbor choking his chicken. I've never been the same since.