If They Can't Make It, Who Can?

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Had enough Zac Efron? No? You sure? Well, tonight's TV, with its pirates and Heidi/Spencer marriage counseling and cake-making, will give you a nice sorbet before Obama hires Efron to complete his cabinet.

The Hills [10 PM, MTV]

Heidi and Spencer begin couples therapy. Audrina admits she has a crush on Brody. Lauren threatens to fire Stephanie from People's Revolution. Before you ask, we double-checked: They cover all of that in 30 minutes. That cutting room floor must be covered in gold.

Gossip Girl [8 PM, CW]

In an episode entitled "Seder Anything," Dan (Penn Badgley) gets a job as a caterer to save up for college. His first event is a Passover seder where his friends and family are guests. (Hold on, looking up synonyms for awkward.) Meanwhile, Serena (Blake Lively) and Blair (Leighton Meester) make a secret deal with Nate's grandfather (James Naughton). Untimely! Oh, nevermind.

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Cake Boss [9:30 PM, TLC]

Diablo Cody called it the "poor man's Ace of Cakes" and we couldn't agree more. Cake Boss is the nuclear/extended family Hoboken version of that Food Network show, and it focuses more on family than flour. Tonight, Buddy Valastro, head baker/"Cake Boss" bakes wedding cakes for a Brides Magazine photoshoot.

Castle [10 PM, ABC]

After the murder of a socialite, Beckett (Stana Katic) and Castle (Nathan Fillion) go to a charity ball to investigate. Castle tries to get information from a former jewel thief who once threatened to kill him. They are doing a decent job managing the sexual tension on this show, so let's hope the producers don't blow it too early in the series.

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The Colbert Report [11:30 PM, Comedy]

Ken Quinn, crew member of the container ship Maersk Alabama that was seized by Somali joins Colbert. The recent rise in piracy has been especially great for Colbert's writers, so the brief top-of-the-show interview should be a gem.



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