5 Possible Treatments For Michael Bay's Upcoming 'Small' Film
Maybe Michael Bay is feeling some recession-era pressure, stretching creatively or simply pulling everyone's legs. Whatever his reasoning, Bay recently told MTV Movies about taking a year off after Transformers 2 and filming a "small little movie I keep wanting to do." Heresy! But... interesting! So we scoured nearly 20 years' worth of Movieline's unproduced-script archives and found the five likeliest projects* for the mega-director to keep his eye on:
· The Littlest Boom: Set in the 1960s-era Deep South, a woman's life is upended when her forbidden interracial relationship with an explosion results in her pregnancy.
· Aisle 12: An existential thriller about a grocery clerk who comes to learn the dark secret of the spontaneous, slow-motion combustions plaguing his store's condiments section.
· Ordinary Pyro: A quiet suburban family is torn asunder by their teenage son's compulsion to set all the neighboring houses on fire. After more than 20 arsons, the young man sees the error of his ways and moves on to detonating cars.
· The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Long thought unfilmable because of the costly effects required, the F. Scott Fitzgerald adaptation tells the heart-rending story of... What? Oh.
· Must Love Tigers: In this bittersweet follow-up to the hit 2005 romcom, Diane Lane's preschool teacher seeks a new love with a soft-spot for tigers. She is mauled on their first date, teaching her the true meaning of ferocious fucking cats.
*: Can be made for $100 million or less.