It's the Porn About Nothing


Wind down your day -- every day -- with The Last Word, Movieline's regular late-afternoon news digest:

· We were extremely impressed with the Seinfeld porn's slavish attention to detail. That was until we realized that Newman's strikingly similar stand-in was actually Wayne Knight, who appears to have dropped a few notches on the showbiz totem since his Must-See TV peak. Any way you slice it, however, Elaine's losing this contest.

· This site's editors acknowledge the steep learning curve that comes with launching any new Web endeavor. That said, if you ever find a writer here pleading with Shannen Doherty for a date three months into our run, please: Just pull the plug.

· If Chris Nolan doesn't come around with a script for Batman 3, then Michael Caine will be just fine fading into obscurity, thank you very much.

· "Could a 6-8, 380-pound actor win an Oscar?" Patrick Goldstein asks all the hard questions.

· Simon Cowell gets a head start on his contract negotiations, sending millions of American Idol fans into a shallow-breathing panic with intimations that his years of karaoke-assessment bloodsport may be finally winding down.

· England is in a tizzy over the NY Post's panning of Sienna Miller's moustache's performance in The Mysteries of Pittsburgh. (By contrast, The Christian Science Monitor thought it was "admirably well-maintained.")