Chaste and Curious Bests Fast & Furious


Welcome to Weekend Receipts. It's Movieline's Monday morning headquarters for box office news and analysis, as only our unparalleled industry expertise -- augmented by 20/20 hindsight and an I.V. hookup to a decade-old Mr. Coffee machine -- can bring you. As always, a light continental breakfast will be served.

1. Hannah Montana The Movie

Gross: $34 million Cume: $34 million

Screens: 3118 PSA: $10,904

Weeks: 1 Change: n/a

As early as Good Friday afternoon, estimates for Miley Cyrus's first non-3D-concert-movie big screen foray were putting it past $17 million. By Sunday, it was official: Hannah Montana The Movie had overtaken the once-thought-unstoppable Vin Diesel. It was nothing short of a Disney Easter miracle, as if Jesus Himself had risen from the dead to cheer on the star's Tyra-slapping exploits and comical, fish-out-water attempts at reconnecting with her modest rural roots. Not surprisingly, exit polling showed 79% of the audience was female and under 18 -- suggesting it now falls to Cyrus' free-spending, tween zombie army to prop up our stalled economy. Please take a moment to text them your appreciation. Thx.

2. Fast and Furious


Gross: $28.783 million Cume: $118.042 million

Screens: 3,472 PSA: $8290

Weeks: 2 Change: - 59.4%

In fairness, Fast and Furious did manage to win Saturday domestically. It also left a trail of smoking skidmarks overseas, where it pulled in an additional $46.5 million and inspired leadfooted renegades the world over to greater, posted-speed-limit-flouting heights. (Though early reports that boatjacking Somali pirates had renamed the Maersk-Alabama the S.S. Paul Walker had ultimately proven unfounded.) Yes, we're thrilled to report that -- like that old, reliable girlfriend who stuck with you through the lean times, then you abandoned once you made it big in order to chase younger, hotter starlet ass, then you ultimately returned to when you realized you weren't getting any younger and the career had kinda started to peter out and the two of you really did have unmistakable chemistry all along -- this franchise is back.

3. Monsters Vs. Aliens

Gross: $22.617 million Cume: $141.009 million

Screens: 4136 PSA: $5468

Weeks: 3 Change: - 30.6%

Congratulations, Seth Rogen: You're in a hit movie that's well on its way to breaking the $200 million mark!

4. Observe and Report


Gross: $11.140 million Cume: $11.140 million

Screens: 2727 PSA: $4085

Weeks: 1 Change: n/a

But alas, Hollywood can be a fickle mistress. Rogen's Observe and Report -- with its bold attempts at evolving the mall-cop-comedy subgenre through the addition of mental illness and tender love scenes with Anna Faris (doing some of the best vomit-covered, passed-out-drunk work of her career) -- ultimately failed to connect with audiences. The result: $11 million and change -- or, to put it in harsher terms, Zack and Miri money. Rogen just needs to hang on now until the end of July, when his tear-jerking work in Funny People -- like "Terms of Endearment with dick jokes," the tracking is saying! -- will reposition him as Hollywood's sensitive and relatable Bear King.

5. Knowing

Gross: $6.670 million Cume: $68.006 million

Screens: 2925 PSA: $2280

Weeks: 4 Change: - 30.6%

Oddly enough, none of the calculations in this science fiction thriller about a girl whose gifts at predictive numerology anticipate several of the world's greatest disasters could ever have prepared Mankind for this.

[Data: Box Office Mojo]


  • sweetbiscuit says:

    Great post headline.
    Is it wrong that I don't care if Rogen hangs on until "Funny People?" No hard feelings, dude, but the money's on the dresser, just take it and GO.