Shaquille O'Neal: Video Shaq

"Have any movies inspired your decorating tastes?" I ask, looking around. O'Neal squints at me dubiously, then gestures toward a glass-topped conference table that's been sandblasted green and could easily accommodate a dozen for dinner. "I saw that in New Jack City and decided to get it," he says, adding that he's a big fan of gangsta rap and gangsta movies, ticking off Juice, Boyz N the Hood and Nick Gomez's ode to carjacking, New Jersey Drive, as a few home video faves. "Jersey takes place in Newark, where I grew up. That movie was cool, but I never saw any stuff like that there." He adds that he's been catching up on golden era blaxploitation as well as the recent stuff. "I haven't seen Sweet Sweetback's Baad Asssss Song yet, but I saw Superfly the other night. I watched it with my cousin Ronald and we thought it was good."

As we mosey outside, over the manicured grounds of O'Neal's home to a spot underneath a big oak tree on the waterfront, I try to imagine Shaq going to see a movie in a theater, and instantly understand why he needs his own home entertainment center. Never mind his fame, the guy's height and width alone must make it supremely uncomfortable for him--or anyone behind him--to occupy a seat at the local cineplex. He acknowledges that this is so, and reveals his simple way of dealing with the dilemma of watching first-run motion pictures. "I rent out the entire theater for $2,100."

"What have you gone out to see lately?"

"I brought a couple-dozen friends to see Don't Be A Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood and From Dusk Till Dawn. I like vampires--it's a homeboy thing, you know? For a while The Lost Boys was my favorite video."

"What are some of your other favorite movies to rent?"

"I thought Brian Bosworth's movie was pretty good. For some reason, though, Siskel and Ebert and all of those guys didn't like it. That's why I think it's time for new critics. I want to do something called The Homeboy Review Network. Me and one of my boys, we'd review movies for everyone, not just for Wall Street types like Siskel and Ebert do."

At this point, Shaq takes his place under the tree, wails for roaring buzz-saws to subside (he's having a 10-car garage added to the house), and does his PSA. Two takes later--after making a couple jokes about "killing birds because they shit all over the place" -- it's a wrap. Shaq gives a couple autographs, and as the cameraman begins to break down the equipment, Shaq's trainer strolls over and announces that it's time to exercise.

Following them into a glass-walled room loaded with treadmills and Lifecycles and weight machines, I ask Shaq if he'll be able to continue the interview as he lifts. "Of course," he says, sliding onto a Nautilus-type machine and proceeding to bench-press 325 pounds over and over again.

I spy a pair of tattoos rippling on his biceps, the more prominent of which features a crown with a fist through it and the letters TWISM emblazoned below.

"What does TWISM' mean?"

"The World is Mine." says O'Neal. "Everybody who works for me has one, Even the white boy." He's referring to his personal assistant, Dennis Tracey, who does not strike me as the tattoo type, which I note to O'Neal, who concedes. "Well, he has his on his leg. So you can't see it."

The other tattoo on O'Neal's bicep is the Superman "S" logo. He explains that this one is slightly prophetic. "Right now we're looking into a script called Steel," he tells me as the 20-pound weight plates rhythmically clank. "If you're into the Superman comics, you know that when he died four different people said they were him. One of them is a big, bald-headed black guy called Steel. It would be a dream come true."

O'Neal admits to a lifelong obsession with the Man of Steel. "Superman and The Incredible Hulk are what I like: David Banner is cool." He hesitates for a beat, leading me to believe that he's about to reveal something amazing: "Here's my new nickname: Elliuqahs Gates Banner. Elliuqahs is Shaquille spelled backwards, Gates is because I'm as rich as Bill Gates, and Banner is because I'm as strong as The Hulk." This cracks up Shaq's trainer (who's been dubbed Ayatollah Dirk De Niro--don't ask why). "So," I say. "What movies do you watch, Elliuqahs, when spirits are not so high as they are now, when you need to be cheered up?"

"The Frank Drebin movies," he says, maneuvering onto another weight machine. I draw a blank.

"You know-- Naked Gun. I enjoy stupid movies like that. All the Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez movies also."

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