The 100 Dumbest Things Hollywood's Done Lately

A compilation of 100 truly idiotic things Hollywood has done as of late.

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1. Hollywood continued to make movies despite the fact that four out of five new films don't make back even their production costs at the box office, and two out of three films never make back their production costs at all.

2. In response to criticism that Disney's plans to build an American history theme park on top of Virginia Civil War battlefields amounted to plasticizing history, CEO Michael Eisner replied, "The First Amendment gives you the right to be plastic."

3. Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson got back together again.

4. In an expensive multi-page insert in Daily Variety, Anne Rice blathered on at extraordinary length about her response to the movie Interview with the Vampire, comparing Tom Cruise to Errol Flynn and Rudolph Valentino, and claiming that "Tom's Lestat will be remembered the way Olivier's Hamlet is remembered."

5. At the opening of Planet Hollywood in Hong Kong, Sylvester Stallone arrived in a ricksha drawn by four women.

6. After Warner Bros. funded Kevin Reynolds and Kevin Costners expensive, loony, disastrous Rapa Nui, Universal funded Reynolds and Costner's Waterworld.

7. Just as the budget for Waterworld reached an eyeball-popping $160 million and became feature news in The Wall Street Journal, it was discovered that the massive steel floating set off the big island of Hawaii, which was still needed for second unit shooting, had sunk in 160 feet of water.

8. Waterworld screenwriter David Twohy took out a page in Daily Variety to present his "Open Letter to the Industry" in which he slapped the wrist of everyone he considered to be "gnawing on the hand that feeds you" for their unfriendly attention to the film's awesome cost overrun, slating that "all of us should want the studios to swing for the fences with something like Waterworld."

9. Waterworld screenwriter David Twohy stated in an interview on network TV that saying bad things about a movie no one's seen yet is like telling a pregnant woman her baby will be ugly.

10. At the Golden Globe Awards, screen writer-director Quentin Tarantino confessed that when he saw John Travolta's heroin scene in Pulp Fiction ("the best shooting-up scene in the history of motion pictures") he knew he was a great director.

11. Screenwriter-director Quentin Tarantino, who has proven he has almost no screen presence, is now devoting a large portion of his time to acting in films.

12. An Elle magazine survey voted Steve McQueen, the star of Bullitt and Papillon who's been dead for 15 years, the sexiest hunk in the world-- a distinction he shared with the also-dead Kurt Cobain.

13. In response to Movieline's naming her one of "Ten Women We Can Do Without," Penelope Ann Miller said, "It's a vindictive, ridiculous magazine."

14. Penelope Ann Miller got married and filed for divorce 40 days later.

15. A Low Down Dirty Shame star Jada Pinkett contributed $100,000 toward Tupac Shakur's bail.

16. Playboy critic Bruce Williamson and Chicago Tribune critic Michael Wilmington both gave Robert Altman's Ready to Wear extremely positive reviews.

17. Michael Douglas was cast as a guy who protests against getting a blow job from Demi Moore.

18. Mickey Rourke said he hoped to turn his next film, Lucky Star Shanghai, which will be directed by someone whose credits include European commercials and a Madonna video, into "a modern day African Queen."

19. Kurt Russell's hair in StarGate; Tom Cruise's hair in Interview With the Vampire; Helena Bonham Carter's hair in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein; Juliette Lewis's hair in anything.

20. Actor Michael Moriarty declared his candidacy for the presidency of the United States on CNBC's "Talk Live," saying, "This country is in such desperate need for an honest man, they're gonna go looking for me, 'cause I'm right out of a Frank Capra film."

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Comments

  • The best point is to relax and accept it as a temporary condition.Try to forget it is there,because thinking about it will make you more anxious.Do the points you like,whether it's reading,listening to music,a movie,swimming,tennis.Some thing totally unrelated.

  • Arlie Peloso says:

    This is good stuff and I really appreciate you posting it for us to read. I'll grab your RSS and continue to listen to your insights because they appear both expedient, and valid.

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