Kelly Lynch: Naked Lynch

Q: What was your wedding like?

A: We had one of the most star-studded weddings ever. James Taylor sang, Anjelica Houston and Buck Hency toasted us, and Bill Murray sang "Brandy." Unbelievable. It was like what I thought L.A. would be like when I came from New York: these very sophisticated but decadent places to go see your friends and be "Hollywood." In reality, it's so not any of that-so I made it that, damn it.

Q: If you weren't married and you wanted to hook up with someone, which one of your movies would you like them to rent?

A: I would think Road House because of the sort of Yvette Mimieux imitation that I did - I kept going, "Maybe I should have normal doctor clothes," and they kept saying. "No tanner, blonder, shorter skirts!" But it appears that it's Drugstore Cowboy. I just worked with Alee Baldwin, who had such a crush on my character from that. When I'd say my lines from that film, Alec would try to attract me.

Q: Back to Road House for a second. In the final shot, it appears you and Patrick Swayze run into a pond in the nude. True?

A: We were completely naked.

Q: It'd be bad enough to be naked in a movie but to have to run...

A: Yes, everything was bouncing, unfortunately.

Q: Patrick probably had the only thing that was actually bouncing...

A: Well, including the back, he had several things.

Q: Speaking of '80s hunks, did you get to roll around with Don Johnson when you guest-starred on "Miami Vice"?

A: No, Don had enough to roll around with without me.

Q: You and Alec Baldwin co-star in the new movie Heaven's Prisoners. What's that about?

A: It's this noirish action picture with really developed characters. Alec plays a tough, sexy, screwed-up guy and I play his wife and partner. We run a boat rental place on the bayou.

Q: Do you get it on a boat?

A: We're about to, when this plane comes right on top of us.

Q: Making it a threesome.

A: Exactly. I don't do it with planes, though. I don't trust them.

Q: Would you do it with a car?

A: If it was a really great car.

Q: Skateboard?

A: No, it's too L.A.--and don't even say the word Rollerblade. It was incredibly scary when we filmed this thing. The stunt coordinator told the pilot to aim for my forehead. Then Alec and I go underwater to save a person from this plane crash. We found out later that the lake is full of water moccasins and no one's been swimming in it for years.

Q: You could have been attacked by a snake and thought Alec was just continuing with the love scene...

A: I would have just said, "Wow, Alec, who knew?" Because it was a big movie, everyone had their houseboat. I had named mine the Bitch Lounge, but then Stephen Baldwin [visited] and said, "No, man, Bitch Barge." He is so funny. He really encouraged mayhem. When the producers; went by on their boat, we had these giant slingshots and we got them bad with water balloons.

Q: What was Alec's boat called, the Butch Barge?

A: That would have been good, but we called it the Mosh Pit.

Q: So, okay, what's Alec Baldwin really like? Movieline readers want to know, Kelly.

A: Incredibly funny--he does a great imitation of William Shatner. Alec's sexy, bright, funny, dangerous and unpredictable, like a man. It's like an old movie star thing that's no longer seen until you get to be 50 and you're Harrison Ford or Jack Nicholson. There are so few actors who are men in movies these days--this is the generation that refuses to grow up--but Alec's really a man. And that enables me to be a woman. This is my new battle cry: Grow up! Sure, times are complicated, but they're not that damn complicated--we're not living through the Depression.

Q: Is his brother, Billy, with whom you co-starred in Three of Hearts, also a "man"?

A: Billy's really boyish, but there's something sexy about that, too. We're almost best friends in real life.

Q: You say if a guy's a "man," you're able to be a "woman." When did you realize you were one?

A: I realized I was a woman at 30 and at first that made me sad. Then I started to find out what that meant and it's so cool. I still have my energy and my looks, but I have an ease and a groove about things and some authority when I say something. All of it's been really good, but to fit in Hollywood with that kind of thinking is weird [because] every [script] I read, if the women are women and they're intelligent and good-looking, they're evil bitches. I'd love to play one really great evil bitch in my life, but I just haven't found that script yet.

Q: Is it true you passed up Basic Instinct?

A: Yeah, I didn't think it was sexy enough. It didn't get me off. I thought, 'This is sort of goofy."

Q: Was the beaver shot in the script that you read?

A: Yeah. There was sort of a diagram. [Laughs] Whoever did that part had to embrace it because there was very little besides the camera taking advantage of you and being lit, dressed and coifed by the best.

Q: Do you ever wonder where your career would be if you'd done it?

A: I think I would have taken shots for it. I had done other kinds of work and I think that critics would have thought I was slumming or going for the money. I certainly don't begrudge any woman for doing that because you don't get very many shots but, in the end, I just thought that I wouldn't have been great at it.

Q: Let's talk about some of your other new movies.

A: I just did a thing for Showtime with Danny Glover called Red Wind. It's a Raymond Chandler story directed by Agnieszka Holland.

Q: She made Europa, Europa, right?

A: And Olivier Olivier. Everything has two names.

Q: Did she have anything to do with Duran Duran?

A: She set all that up.

Q: You are in The Beans of Egypt, Maine, too.

A: My character's the earthiest woman I've ever been near. We made the movie for a million dollars in four weeks so I was eating beans and playing Beans and looking like a bean, but I think it's pretty wonderful.

Pages: 1 2 3