David Does Damon
David Alan Grier and Damon Wayans, who first reached fame as the outrageous "Men on Film" on TV's "In Living Color," now co-star in Blankman, a movie Wayans co-wrote. Movieline asked Grier to interview Wayans, but it didn't turn out that way . . .
DAVID ALAN GRIER: I want what's best for Blankman, Damon, but let me ask you: Did you cut any of my scenes? What about the fight scene where I ruptured my disc trying to do karate?
DAMON WAYANS: It's still there.
DAVID: Well, thank God, 'cause you know I got a case. Oh, here comes Stephanie Williams, famous soap star. Say hi, Stephanie, this is for Movieline.
STEPHANIE WILLIAMS: This is for what?
DAVID: For Movieline. You know, I think we now have at our table all the black people who have ever been in The Ivy in 1994. The only other black people I saw in here had rags on, they were washing dishes in the kitchen, singing negro spirituals. Oh, shut that tape off, there's some attitude up in here.
DAMON: So there's going to be a big pause on this tape . . .
DAVID: It's the lost 18 minutes.
DAMON: It had something to do with drugs.
DAVID: Not really, but let's continue, shall we?
DAMON: But, uh, wipe your nose.
DAVID: Let's talk about Blankman. You know, I told Jerry Seinfeld that I wanted to be Mr. Black-man, his neighbor on "Seinfeld," but--
DAMON: He didn't get it.
DAVID: He didn't get it.
DAMON: David, let me ask you some questions.
DAVID: Go ahead, man. Hit me with the hard ones.
DAMON: You are brilliant, so when are you going to write a screenplay?
DAVID: I tried, but it's hard. I think that I'm going to have to write, because I'm not getting offered the roles I want. You know, I read for Denzel's movie and I didn't get the part.
DAMON: They got Gary Coleman.
DAVID: They said if he gets a new kidney, he gets the part.
DAMON: So, do you think Blankman is going to be successful?
DAVID: To be honest, I have no idea.
DAMON: That's the wrong answer.
DAVID: Well, when I'd come home at the end of the day from working on Blankman, I'd think, "I know this shit is funny." Of course, I'm on Prozac. Are you on Prozac?
DAMON: No. What was it really like working on Blankman?
DAVID: Well, actually, you're so difficult to work with. Every time I'd throw a good joke into a scene, you'd say, "Stop!" and go and whisper to the director. Then you'd come back and say, "That's great. Now do a take for us the way it was written."
DAMON: Well, you know why?
DAVID: No, why?
DAMON: Because you weren't my original choice for the part.
DAVID: Who was?
DAMON: Keenen was my original choice.
DAVID: Then Marlon, then Duane, then ...
DAMON: Then Ernie Hudson, but he wasn't available.
DAVID: Then Yaphet Kotto, right? I heard Forest Whitaker passed on it, too.
DAMON: It was between you and that kid who played "Webster."
DAVID: And since I was less expensive, I got the part. Well, don't worry, Damon, I'm sure Blankman will be a hit.
DAVID: Yeah. And if not, I'll just blame it on you.