Screening Notes from the Ridonkulous Taylor Lautner LOLfest Abduction

If you were one of the curious few who caught Twilight star Taylor Lautner's abysmally-reviewed action star debut, Abduction, then you know how insanely, wonderfully ridiculous it is. Like, Razzie shoo-in, I-can't-believe-I'm-seeing-this-shit awfulsome good times. It's a film with dialogue so inane, Lautner actually asks, "Are you my mother??" And he's serious. I had such a good time "WTF"-ing at Abduction, I compiled all of my screening notes within for your perusal. Needless to say, major spoiler alert!

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Director of Birdemic Says He's 'Mastered' 3-D for Sequel

James Nguyen, the possibly-delusional former Silicon Valley software salesman-turned-filmmaker behind the truly awful-and-not-even-in-a-good-way 2008 cult pic Birdemic (on DVD shelves this week), is hard at work on Birdemic 2: The Resurrection. That's the bad news. The good news: He's filming it in 3-D -- and the untrained Nguyen assures the Wall Street Journal that he's "completely mastered the art of 3-D cinematography." The self-described "Master of the Romantic Thriller" adds that the sequel might have something to do with the La Brea Tar Pits. We take it back. This is all bad news. [WSJ Speakeasy]