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Tom Bergeron to Bristol Palin Conspiracy Theorists: 'F*ck You.'

After a dozen years of consistent emceeing, Tom Bergeron remains one of TV's best and funniest hosts. On Hollywood Squares he traded spicy innuendos with Whoopi Goldberg, and as the host of Dancing with the Stars and America's Funniest Videos he lends a stately air to glitzy proceedings. We caught up with the Emmy-winning Massachusetts native to discuss his favorite funny people, hosting nightmares, and his impatience with Bristol Palin conspiracy theorists.

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NBC Sked Shakeup: Parenthood to Mondays, Parks and Rec Returns, and More!

NBC just announced a slew of midseason scheduling changes (in addition to a sixth season pickup for 30 Rock). Here's the most important stuff.

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Who Scored Big in Week Six of SNL's Not-Ready-for-Prime-Time-Player Relevancy Poll?

OK, I've calmed down a bit since yesterday's scorecard. Yes, I still thought Saturday night was a train wreck (literally! Boom!) but I've almost been waiting for a show to come along that was so bad it would completely upend the relevancy poll. That show was this week. No more, "well, Jay Pharoah was good but he's too underused to be number one." Poppycock! Pharoah's talent (and Taran Killam to a point) really shined this week when set against a backdrop that's mostly made of sorrow. Welcome your new SNL Overlord, Jay Pharoah.

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Beartrap Contessa: Does Sarah Palin Have What It Takes to Become a Reality Star?

TLC premiered Sarah Palin's Alaska last night, and what did we learn? For starters, she still talks like a Denny's menu (Have ya tried the Little Tiny Salmon Underfoot?), she has a TV studio in her house, and her kids seemed uninterested in being a part of more grizzly metaphors. But because Palin's wearing Adidas track pants and gushing in confessionals like JWOWW, we're excited by these revelations -- she's a rootin' tootin' reality star who's welcoming us in for a bunch of postcard shots of "the Last Frontier" and her wilderness-wanderin' ESPN3 existence. Forget that whole she-might-actually-try-to-run-for-president sideshow: She's sharing airtime with the Gosselins now, formally inviting us to gape at her menacingly like a coupla' Kodiak cubs. Let's take advantage.

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Is The Walking Dead the New Lost?

If the first episode of The Walking Dead was characterized by reverence toward the lost people, and the second was characterized by the inhumanity of those left behind, then the third episode, "Tell It to the Frogs," struck a welcome middle ground as our camp of survivors began to develop a rough societal framework reminiscent of the early days of, dare I say, Lost?

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'There's Nothing Wrong with Being an Opportunist': Boardwalk Empire Recapped

As Chekhov taught us, if a blue dress appears in the first act, it must be covered in the blood of an innocent bystander in the third act. Or something. "Belle Femme" was a small step back for Boardwalk Empire after a month of improvements, but that's only because it featured too much castigation and not enough action. Well, until Nucky almost got assassinated on the boardwalk.

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Bored to Death Hipster Quotient: 'But I Thought You Were Into Vampires and Armpits'

"You are a marijuana addict...with narcissistic personality disorder," a substance counselor diagnosed George Christopher last night, adding the final assessment shortly after noticing a massive self-portrait hanging from George's wood-paneled office. I am curious then, how any kind of mental health professional would diagnose the real Jonathan Ames, after watching last night's season two finale, "Super Ray is Mortal!," which featured another cameo from the real Jonathan Ames in a series that that centers on a marijuana-dependent character, also named Jonathan Ames. Who knows! For now, let's get to the final Hipster Quotient of the season.

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SNL Scorecard: Did Scarlett Johansson Host the Worst Show of the Season?

Of all my years of die-hard Saturday Night Live devotion, I honestly can't remember another time when I would recommend to just skip all the sketches in a given episode and, instead, just watch the musical act. If I were ever to do that, last night's episode would have been the one. Apart from Arcade Fire, though, the rest of the Scarlett Johansson-hosted episode fell flat on its face -- by far the worst show of the season. The blame doesn't rest with Johansson, who was decent enough with what she had to work with (save her pretty terrible monologue). But considering how strong the previous, Jon Hamm-hosted episode was, this was startling. To the Scorecard!

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The 3 Worst TV Stereotypes of the Week: Charlie Sheen Salutes the Hollywood Bad Boys

In last week's stereotype feature, Movieline recognized the zombies and daytime drunks prowling our airwaves. And this week, in a special Hollywood edition, Movieline will spotlight industry bad boys (I'm looking at you, Charlie Sheen -- er, Harper), trophy wives and the homophobic jocks locker-checking our network stations.

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Grey's Anatomy Pain Scale: The Best Therapy Is Served In Rooftop Wine Glasses

"There has to be a way to find relief," Meredith Grey told viewers last night. "Because if the pressure doesn't find a way out, it will explode." Similarly, if we don't discuss the pain that mounted during last night's installment, "Something's Gotta Give," (of no relation to the Nancy Meyers comedy in which Diane Keaton hooks up with Jack Nicholson) it will also explode. As Shonda Rhimes taught us, you will then either force yourself on a co-worker in the break room, or punch out another co-worker in a swanky Seattle apartment. So join us for this week's Grey's Anatomy stress relief, in the form of the weekly pain scale.

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Funny Men: Jon Hamm and John Slattery Battle for 30 Rock Guest Star Supremacy

"Brooklyn Without Limits" may have been Jane Krakowski's Emmy episode -- and it was certainly one of the funniest 30 Rock episodes from a very funny season -- but it was also notable for the appearance of Lincoln pitchman and Emmy nominee, John Slattery. The Mad Men star portrayed Steve Austin (not the wrestler, though if you are blind that's negotiable), a Rhode Island Tea Party wackadoodle running for Congress, and he was so utterly brilliant that it called to mind another Mad Men star who moonlighted on 30 Rock: Jon Hamm. Which employee of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce acquitted themselves better in Tina Fey's funhouse? Movieline investigates ahead.

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Bad News: Jersey Shore Angelina's New Rap Single is the Best of the Lot

Jersey Shore's most abhorred cast member, Angelina Pivarnick, just out-rapped her former co-stars The Situation and DJ Pauly D. I mean, it's no "Get Ur Freak On," but it's better than what you might expect from a woman who The Situation once called "a dirty hamster." The song, "I'm Hot," is also obnoxious and stupid, but it kind of sounds like other obnoxious and stupid songs on the Hot 100.

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'Tell Your Disappointment to Suck It; I'm Doing a Bottle Episode!': Community Recapped

Before recapping what has been universally acknowledged as one of the best episodes of Community in quite some time, just a point of annoyance. Speaking purely as a reader, it bothers me when recappers feel the need to discuss industry terminology like "bottle episode" as if they're in the know. They aren't; they're just watching at home, like you and me. That said, yes: "Cooperative Calligraphy" was a bottle episode. And a funny one!

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The Mad Science of Fringe: When Mythology Overwhelms Plot

Last night, Fringe delivered a rare combination of boring and myth-heavy, which was particularly disappointing after such a spurt of great episodes in the over there/over here back-and-forth. But "6955 Kh" might cement my theory that the contrast of the alt-world lends itself to more inherently interesting stories. (All three alt-world episodes have been great, compared to just one on our side.) On the bright side, at least a huge chunk of exposition is out of the way?

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Late Night Highlights: Jeff Goldblum, Jimmy Fallon and Biz Markie Just 'Friends'

Forget Conan O'Brien. Last night, Jimmy Fallon and Jeff Goldblum ran away with the late night show when they teamed up with Biz Markie and The Roots for an interpretive rendition of "Just a Friend." Elsewhere, Harrison Ford willingly talked about Star Wars, Cher recalled her famous conquests, Stephen Colbert absorbed the powers of Gene Shalit and Julie Bowen proved that she is a terrible mother.

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