After installing Betty White as the host of Saturday Night Live (where she could finally live out her lifelong dream of saying things that are shocking because they are coming from an old lady), the users of Facebook are drunk with power! Their latest mission: getting gay couple Cameron and Mitchell to kiss on Modern Family. As the Facebook petitioning reaches a fevered pitch (and if you listen closely, it sounds like a bunch of insistent guests clinking their glasses at a gay wedding and looking up expectantly at the dais), producers issued a statement today in hopes of calming down the ravenously romantic masses:
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I knew that Jamie Foxx's dulcet American Idol mentoring skills would lull me into catatonia tonight, but now I can count on a full coma. Turns out this is also "Duets" week on Idol, meaning we're poised to get sappy, sappy sap on our good Sunday clothes. Reports are surfacing that Crystal and Lee will duet, as well as Michael and Casey. Let's take a look at the song list and pick which hits best work for both duos.
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When Jamie Foxx joins the American Idol contestants for a day of mentorship, commiseration, solidarity, and too many stupid handshakes, how will the four remaining kids fare? Without Aaron Kelly to kick around anymore, the others may have to start (and this a revelatory idea for a few of them) trying. Oh, rapture! Note: The theme tonight tonight does not allow for Crystal Bowersox to sing "Blame It on the A-A-A-A-Alcohol." So don't ask.
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Come on, Elisabeth Hasselbeck. You know that the key to cementing your apology to a Dancing with the Stars contestant after publicly taking sides with her peephole stalker is to call. Erin Andrews revealed to Us Weekly that she has still not heard from Hasselbeck: "I didn't speak with her, no." In other Andrews news, ESPN is demanding $300,000 from Andrews' stalker, Michael David Barrett, to cover the reporter's additional security expenses last year. [Us]
If you are an employee of Child Protective Services -- or a friend of an employee of Child Protective Services -- please speed over to Danielle Staub's crumbling Jersey McMansion pronto. This woman is already in the system -- for kidnapping, cocaine possession, falsely accusing her first husband of raping her on a bed of broken glass, prostitution, the usual -- and as of last night's episode, "Generation Vexers," she is pimping her daughter out for her own financial gain and vicarious thrills. (Come to think of it, why haven't Danielle's children been taken away sooner, and why does she have a reality show where her abominable parenting skills are highlighted while her children -- her beautiful, empty daughters -- sit by, hopeless?) After the jump, Movieline searches through last night's depressing depiction of Jersey motherhood to find the truest and falsest moments of the night.
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And with that you can close the book on William Baldwin's William van der Woodsen. At least until May sweeps next year. Thanks to some old fashioned teamwork and Blair Waldorf-led scheming, the kids on Gossip Girl were able to out Papa van der Woodsen as a liar, charlatan and overall jerk. Well, to everyone but Serena, that is, who despite being abandoned by her father for most of her life, refused to believe that he could ever do anything wrong. Because she's a pouty idiot. Anyway, "Ex-Husbands and Wives" set the stage for what should be a great finale next week -- will Blair and Chuck finally make up?! -- but what really matters today are the puns. To the list!
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With only a dozen days until the most anticipated series finale in recent television history, Lost star Evangeline Lilly hopped a plane to New York City to start promotin'. Her late night circuit began with the Late Show last night, where the starlet eagerly discussed Lost's surprise ending, her future career in writing and her disappointment that Dave has never seen her show. Click through for that segment as well as the other clips you missed last night while deciding whether to auction off your virginity for reality fame.
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We usually take time each week to re-investigate Bruno Tonioli's criticisms on Dancing with the Stars. His effusive praise leads him into hurtful orgasms that induce a heart attack every single week. Serious stuff. This week we've decided to reevaluate fellow judges Len Goodman and Carrie Ann Inaba too, as their compliments and complaints often go unnoticed next to the bile-spewing barrage of Bruno. If you can handle the truth behind each judge's comments -- and video of each DWTS's pair of dances last night, including the "futuristic cha-cha-cha" pictured above -- venture forth.
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· First it was announced that Jersey Shore would split its second season between Miami Beach and Seaside, Heights, N.J. and now MTV is shaking up the guidos' sophomore season more by introducing new cast members. According to EW, the fresh blood will be introduced during the second half of the season, which premieres at the end of July. No word yet on whether original cast members will be switched out for the new. [EW]
MTV grafts Skins from the U.K., NBC greenlights Jerry Bruckheimer, and more TV Bites after the jump.
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Summer's around the bend, which means reality competitions clog the listings like Dilbert calendars on a clearance shelf after Jan. 1. With so many new and returning programs jammed into the idiot box, the line between watchable and disposable blurs quickly. And what to make of all these personnel changes? Mary Murphy's been demoted on So You Think You Can Dance?, while Craig Robinson and Mel B. take over on renewed series. Stressful! Join us as Movieline gives a "Yay or Nay" vote to eight different series coming up in the next few weeks.
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American television producers pride themselves in bursting through reality barriers: They will supply a washed-up rock star with the closest thing to a legally-permitted harem, capture each devastating phase of addiction for viewers' pleasure, and enlist overweight contestants to starve themselves for a cash prize. Basically, you name a shame-laden activity, and American producers are quick to capitalize on it....which is why it was so surprising to hear today that our home of the free is not responsible for a new reality television show that auctions off the virginity of a few fame-hungry contestants.
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Before she was semi-famous for starring in E!'s reality show Pretty Wild, Alexis Neiers was semi-famous for breaking into the homes of the actually famous. Today, she pled no contest and was sentenced to 180 days in jail for stealing $600,000 worth of personal belongings from actor Orlando Bloom. Hope that framed Elizabethtown call sheet was worth it, Alexis! [TMZ]
From an Oscar-nominated glimpse at German radicals to a gorgeous '80s catastrophe to the punk classic that keeps on giving after a quarter century, the week in not-to-be-missed cable movies looks like 55 kinds of tumult and chaos. Read on for the most TiVoable essentials.
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Tonight, Dancing with the Stars makes its five remaining competitors get historical with their get-down. Hopefully Len Goodman will be able to spout helpful advice like, "Niecy, when I did the Charleston with my eight brothers and sisters to survive the Depression, we never bobbled our chest bombs like that. Sorry."
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Why would Conan O'Brien interrupt his Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on Television Tour last Wednesday for a 48-minute interview with Google? Movieline has no idea, and judging by Coco's confused expression throughout the sit down, the former Tonight Show host had no idea either. Fortunately, Conan used his pit stop to brush up on his open mic skills, roast his moderator (Google's Vice-President of Engineering Vic Gundotra) and direct a few cheap shots at his former employer. Click through for the best of Coco's zingers and full video from the interview.
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