Some crazy stuff went down in the Grey's Anatomy finale last night, but I don't know about any of that because 1) I got off that train after about season three and 2) Fringe's season finale was nearly perfect, drawing the episode's threads together (namely the Peter dilemma) in a tenuously satisfying conclusion, only before everything went to hell in the last two minutes. It reeked of Jabrahms-inspired madness. It was wonderful.
But enough fawning. Let's break this down into our usual mad science capsules:
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As good as the season finale of 30 Rock was -- and as winningly charming and funny as Matt Damon wound up being -- there was something unavoidably disappointing about the whole thing. Because Liz Lemon's new boyfriend -- the seemingly perfect-for-her pilot, Carroll -- is played by Matt Damon, you know it isn't going to end well. And that's too bad. If there is one problem with the parade of famous guest stars on 30 Rock, it's just that: They're famous guests. Like Matt Damon is going to stop making movies to spend the rest of his career rubbing Liz Lemon's "disgusting foot secret?" No, of course he's not.
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By now, it is no secret that Jay Leno and Chelsea Handler have a complicated relationship. He invites her to cuddle with him on a vibrating motel room bed and join him on romantic helicopter rides above Burbank while she calls out the weird sexual tension and audience members shift uncomfortably at home. And now, there is another segment for the Jay and Chelsea: Sexually Charged anthology and it includes an explanation of that suspicious audition sex tape. Click through for that skeevy moment, as well as the other highlights you missed last night while protesting $#*! My Dad Says.
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There was something oddly sincere about the cliche-packed season finale of Community, and maybe that was the ultimate joke. Whereas the recent spoof episodes were overflowing with meta references and acknowledgments to what was happening, "Pascal's Triangle Revisited" played things mostly straight. Or as straight as a show can be while literally explaining the origins of "jump the shark." The end of the year Transfer Dance -- rechristened "Tranny Dance" by the furry-loving dean -- wound up being the Waterloo for Jeff, Brita and Jeff's "Hey, remember me" ex-girlfriend, Slater, because that's what end of the year dances are there for: Big emotional speeches where true feelings are revealed. And, oh yeah, surprise endings.
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· Who did not see this coming? Only two days after CBS greenlit its $#*! My Dad Says pilot to series (get the preview here), the Parents Television Council is threatening an "unrelenting campaign" against advertisers of $#*! unless the network moves its new half-hour comedy from 8:30 PM to a 10 PM time slot. It turns out that the PTC does not like profanity in titles, even when it is bleeped out. Garbage My Dad Says, anyone? [THR]
Rob Corddry's web series migrates to television, Jimmy Fallon gets meta, and more TV Bites after the jump.
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The hands of CBS honcho Les Moonves were bloody this week after slaying seven series -- a record for this season's upfronts so far. It was a bold (even arrogant) move that suggested that the network is so confident in its new series that it doesn't need proven time slot champs and Emmy-winners like Ghost Whisperer and New Adventures of Old Christine anymore -- in fact, they'll even hand them over to ABC. So what are these golden projects on which CBS is betting the farm? Click through to see their trailers for yourself.
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Cheerleading and espionage: two subjects that should go together more often. Today the CW released trailers for its new pilots Hellcats and Nikita, shows that bring foxy females to the fore and illuminate them in either choreography or gunfire. Join Movieline as we watch the preview videos, "yay" or "nay" both upcoming series, and clap our pompoms if the mood is right.
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It's a hard thing not to love: the fast, funny, adept digitally animated kids' movie that actually, even secretly, comes packing double barrels of satiric subtext. Sure, you think of WALL-E, which for my money painted the most lacerating portrait anyone has seen this century of American consumerism run amok. Did those millions of happy Pixar consumers not get the point? More to the point, did the millions of chortling filmgoers absorbing Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs have any trouble last year shoveling the popcorn and Raisinets? As of today, it's on demand...
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You can't underestimate the porn industry's amazing reflexes when it comes to satirizing the biggest hits on TV in record time. Glee has barely had a year to enjoy its time in the spotlight, and already the Hustler company has produced This Ain't Glee, a nekkid adventure where the innuendo behind "New Directions" can finally come to light. Rachel, Schue, Mercedes, and even a yellow-haired version of Sue Sylvester get in on the action. Ready for some high notes?
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Yesterday, Bret Michaels appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show via satellite to discuss the brain hemorrhage that sent him into critical condition last month. Wearing a freshly pressed navy blue bandanna, the rock star and Celebrity Apprentice contestant solemnly described his injury for the first time: "It sounded like a small handgun went off in the back of my head." As informative as the segment was, Michaels left out one detail that definitely would have interested Oprah: which porno movie he happened to be watching when he suffered the life-threatening hemorrhage.
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Is there anyone out there excited by the American Idol final two? A season finale matchup between Lee Dewyze and Crystal Bowersox may not set the world on fire, but it wouldn't be the first time that a once-exciting reality competition produced an underwhelming winner. (It may not even be the first time Idol's done it -- it's just that the show's most bland victories usually come at the expense of a quirky runner-up). In honor of the sure-to-be-snoozy final outcome to this disappointing season, here are 7 other winners who triumphed on their own reality shows, but could have used an extra jolt of personality.
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It's "Everybody Draw Mohammad Day" everyone! Which means that if you, South Park enthusiasts, believe that the politically incorrect cartoon was unfairly censored by Comedy Central last month, there is a place for you to unite with nearly 100,000 others who share the same sentiment on Facebook. You can submit your own illustrations of the very Muslim prophet that incited death threats from radical Islamic groups and wall post about the merits of free speech -- that is, unless you live in Pakistan.
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A few season finales round out tonight's viewing options, including Community's first-season ender. Will Jeff choose between the two people vying for his love, or will he continue blithely wearing muscle tees and flexing on accident? And if so, are we his favorites? I'm crying now, and I haven't even thought about the inter-wife strife on Real Housewives of NYC yet.
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30 Rock's been infested with guest-stars in its fourth season, so it's only right to conclude (or justify) it the with the biggest guest-star yet: that bad Will Hunting himself, Matt Damon. He appears on tonight's finale playing a pilot who shares Liz Lemon's cynicism and works for a fictional airline called "Airbike." Back in season three, Liz gleefully compared then-beau Drew Baird (Jon Hamm) as looking like "a cartoon pilot." Will the real thing help invigorate Liz's romantic desires before she marries Wesley, the non-love of her life? Clips of Damon in action and Tina Fey's spoiler-y commentary are after the jump.
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They're back! Infamous White House party crashers Michaele and Tareq Salahi were stopped by the Secret Service last night when their limo was headed for another state dinner, this one for Mexican president Felipe Calderón. Bravo still hasn't confirmed that the two are cast members of the upcoming Real Housewives of Washington D.C., but they've supposedly banked a season already, and in the Salahis' defense, they have to fill their staged catfighting time with something now. [NYDN]
