Nearly a month ago, Charlie Sheen tried to pave the way for nicotine-addicted criminals in Aspen, Colorado by pushing his attorney to fight for prisoner cigarette privileges. Despite Sheen and Co.'s arguments, the jail did not waver in its strict "nicotine patches only" rule. But then the Two and a Half Men actor worked out a plea deal in which he would spend 30 days in jail (less with good behavior) with a work release program, which meant that he would be off of jail premises and free to smoke as many Parliament Lights as his lungs can stand between 8 AM and 8 PM. Until Pitkin County's Jail Administrative Officer stepped in.
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Just what the world needs -- another sex tape. The video, which features 47-year old Real Housewives of New Jersey cast member Danielle Staub and a "mystery man," will be distributed by Hustler Inc. The tape was allegedly shot last fall after Staub started work on the Bravo series. [TMZ]
President Obama may not be able to elicit the appropriate amount of rage towards BP, but Stephen Colbert has got a tutorial for that. Just last night, the Colbert Report host threw BP CEO Tony Hayward down a flight of stairs before unleashing an angry team of snapping turtles and sea birds at the exec. Meanwhile over at Tonight Show, Jay Leno took another swipe at NBC and flirted with his new band leader's wife. Click through for those segments, as well as the other highlights you missed while cracking wise about Katherine Heigl.
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adfad· With only 16 months until Oprah Winfrey ends her syndicated talk show, she is vowing to find the next big television personality via a Mark Burnett-produced reality competition on the Oprah Winfrey Network. The series, Your Own Show: Oprah's Search for the Next TV Star, will launch in January at the same time as the cable venture. Aspiring hosts can upload their own audition videos to Oprah.com. Burnett has already compared the concept to Fox's lucrative franchise: "Much in the way American Idol finds unknown people (to be recording stars) there's no reason we can't find someone who deserves their own show." Good luck, everyone! [AP]
Doctor Who campaigns for Lady Gaga, A&E considers breaking Breakout Kings out of Fox, and more TV Bites after the jump.
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You've spent years combing through tabloid pictures of Matthew McConaughey running in Malibu, surfing in Malibu, skateboarding in Malibu, and practicing yoga in Malibu, but pretty soon, you'll be able to flip on the television and see Matthew McConaughey's own comedy series set in Malibu. And the description is pretty wild.
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Last summer, Fox debuted Glee by airing the pilot episode right at the beginning of summer, then kept the rest of the series under wraps until the fall season. AMC is ganking that strategy for the launch of its new drama Rubicon, which launches this Sunday after Breaking Bad and then doesn't return until August 1. There's just one difference -- AMC is barely doing a damn thing to promote it, and the screening isn't even listed on their website. What gives?
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There are a large number of indies and classics laying siege to the wire-waves this week on cable, and there's really no better show in town unless you're planning on putting one on yourself -- nude but for a clown nose, beginning a conga line down Main Street and hoping others will join in. Or not.
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Somewhere in the evolution of television -- perhaps when Steve Allen made fun of Jerry Lee Lewis's incomprehensible lyrics on air, or when Cher first razzed Sonny -- some great executive realized: "A**holes make great TV hosts." The art of "likable meanness" is a tricky study for TV emcees, one that requires consummate detachment as well as an audience's trust. Thus, Movieline is commemorating these skilled wiseacres by picking ten of the best a**hole hosts in TV history. Spoiler: The #1 winner is so great that he combines the best qualities of every single host on the list.
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The Bachelorette ventures back to the '90s this week and features a band you haven't thought about since VH1's Top 20 Video Countdown was an active part of your life. At this rate, half of the vying bachelors will be narrated with Pop-Up Video bubbles, and bachelorette Ali will confess that she's Shawn Colvin. This is likely all false, but just in case it's not, be prepared for the best night of your life.
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Starz is going sci-fi. The premium cable home of Party Down has acquired the U.S. television rights to the next installment of the Doctor Who spin-off (and anagram) Torchwood. Developed and produced by BBC Worldwide, the latest 10 episodes of the British sci-fi drama will premiere stateside in the summer of 2011 while BBC One airs the series overseas. Per usual, John Barrowman and Eve Myles will star, alongside new Americans yet to be cast. [THR]
On May 28, Shannon Price instructed doctors to remove her husband, Gary Coleman, from life support -- only the Diff'rent Strokes star was actually Price's ex-husband, and the controversial decision set a series of murky developments into motion. Just hours after Coleman's death, an incriminating 911 call surfaced where Price resisted helping the actor after he suffered a devastating fall for fear that she would be "traumatized," and now Price is at the center of a scandal involving a gruesome "death photo" that is being shopped of the actor for upwards of $10,000.
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With less than two months until MTV premieres its second season of Jersey Shore, the network has released a 13-minute sneak peak of the gang's trip down to Miami. As predicted, it involves Pauly D and the Situation fleeing to South Beach with a body in the trunk of their car after a hot tub gangbang gone wrong. OK, no it doesn't, but it does involve spray tans, fireworks and a lot of annoying MTV edits. So if you want to save 13 minutes of your life and still find out what is in store for America's Guidos, click through for Movieline's easy-to-stomach FAQ section.
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It is no secret that Seinfeld is one of the most profitable television series of all time -- after all, Forbes has regularly estimated that Jerry Seinfeld makes over $60 million a year from the show's reruns alone. Still, just how much has the series earned since it went off the air in 1998? Prepare to have your minds blown.
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On the heels of American Idol's lowest season finale numbers ever, a Christian news site is making such a claim so ridiculous that it's almost funny: Ellen DeGeneres' sexual orientation is responsible for Idol's drop in ratings. And while they're at it, the site also alleges that television is on a "pro-homosexuality bender" and that adding Ellen to Idol is just as bad as giving Roman Polanski a seat on the Dancing with the Stars judging panel. Wait, what?
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You can accuse the MTV Movie Awards of being many things, but a legitimate awards show is certainly not one of them. Never mind the categories -- congratulations to Amanda Seyfried for winning Best Scared as Sh*t Performance; er, what? -- or the fact that MTV felt compelled to nominate Angelina Jolie for the not-yet-released Salt, the two-hour telecast is designed for the express purpose of creating moments. And while nothing on Sunday night topped watching Sacha Baron Cohen teabag Eminen, inappropriateness reigned supreme. Which were the five most egregious examples? Movieline investigates after the jump.
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