This just in: Xavier Samuel is or isn't gay! Robert Pattinson's hair knocked a woman unconscious in Santa Monica! Holy crap! I don't care! Movies, as The Kingsmen once almost sang, that's what we want. On cable this week: One hundred kinds of movie love, minus the gossip...
Creator Bill Lawrence has planned on retitling Cougar Town for months now, and while his original choice of C-Town has our vote, E! reports that the suits at ABC are considering a more drastic name change, including one that's so dramatic it actually... is insane. Insane. Let's break down the weird new titles of Cougar Town together, as a traumatized family.
It's official. After hinting that he would be leaving The Office at the end of its next season, Steve Carell has confirmed the news to EW: "I think [season] 7 will be my last year. I want to fulfill my contract. I think it's a good time to move on." It's also the perfect time to re-examine Carell's possible replacements. Call your agent, Mullally! [EW]
It's become a True Blood tradition: a few episodes into the season, Michael Lehmann will direct an installment featuring a wild sex scene that leaves everyone talking. Last year, it involved a Bon Temps Burning Man festival where outside, women smeared their boobs with dirt while inside, Mehcad Brooks impressively tried to steal the show's rear acreage crown from Ryan Kwanten. How did this season's episode compare? Let's just say that there was a head-turning moment that made the sex and violence tallies shoot way, way up.
The Lohan family is not about to let their first critically-panned reality series deter them from making another critically-panned reality series. Just today, Dina Lohan announced that the family -- including Lindsay -- has already begun filming a project which will document the Lohans as they promote their businesses and prove that they are just a "a good, hardworking family." Movieline recognizes this is destined to be another exploitative mess muddying our airwaves but in the spirit of Dina's bottomless optimism, we would still like to point out five ways that this project could be less horrible than its predecessor Living Lohan.
Teehee. Of course not.
If Alicia Keys's tribute medley to herself didn't freeze your face into a wince during last night's BET Awards, Chris Brown achieved the task with his uber-tearful Michael Jackson homage. Oh, the passion! Did you know that "Man in the Mirror" is about Chris Brown's plea for you to like him? Just ask Quincy Jones. Did you know "Billie Jean" is just a metaphor for whatever Chris Brown did to Rihanna? No? It's time to join the times, simpletons. Because these songs may just be tainted forever.
Annoyed with reports that he was privy to celebrity iPhone line-cutting privileges last week, Jason Bateman has taken to Twitter to explain the situation once and for all. "There wasn't one boo. Not one hiss. The Apple guy brought me in away from the paparazzi. Period." Bateman then went on to remember his time in that muggy, slow-moving line at the Grove fondly: "I was content in line. I wish I'd stayed." [Popeater]
Let's be honest about one thing: You did not watch yesterday's 37th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards Ceremony. You might have tuned in if James Franco had been nominated for his scene-stealing arc on General Hospital and you would have at least TiVo'd the Las Vegas event had you known that host Regis Philbin would accidentally disprove David Copperfield's entire career during the first 10 minutes of the telecast. But you did not, so relive the night's most exciting and incriminating moment after the jump -- and congratulate the newest Daytime Emmy winners while you're at it.
· Although Katie Couric is not quite sure what will happen when her $15 million-a-year contract with CBS expires next year, one thing is for certain: The newswoman will not be taking over Larry King's perch at CNN. The cable network is currently courting Piers Morgan for the position after Couric declined the offer. Couric is hoping to stay with CBS, as long as they can negotiate a cost-sharing plan to cover her sizable salary with another network. [NYP]
Kristen Stewart finds herself in the company of a terrorist hunter, Criminal Minds' stars find closure, and more TV Bites after the jump.
It's not every day you hear that a former star of ABC's two-hour "TGIF" programming block is gainfully employed, but as Movieline reported earlier today, former Step by Step stepsister Christine Lakin will join Craig Kilborn on his new Fox talk show. That's big time! To toast Ms. Lakin's success, Movieline is ranking five other alums of the family-friendly "Thank God It's Friday" cluster who deserve a comeback in 2010. Revive your uncomfortable crush on Stefan Urkel with us!
It's taken 6 months and a 30-city comedy tour, but Andy Richter is finally over his Tonight Show heartbreak. "It's like a bad breakup," Richter told Variety. "Once you get over it, you don't want to dwell." It also helps that the comedian -- who says he never would have abandoned Conan O'Brien after such an "unnatural ending," unlike Max Weinberg -- has a more cooperative network behind him. "[TBS] has been nothing but supportive. We can do whatever we want and be ourselves." [Variety]
This weekend on cable, nightmare scenarios proliferate like mushrooms -- and not the fun kind, either -- just to take your mind off the wars and natural disasters and the economy and global warming and...
Ready to conclude your evening with a tribute to the late King of Pop? ABC's got you covered with a special look back at Michael Jackson's legacy, including a glimpse into the care of his estate and kids in the present day. It could only be better if Vincent Price narrated and said, "There's Joe Jackson closing in to seal your doom." But we can't get what we want sometimes. And for good reason, really.
Just last month Fox announced that Craig Kilborn would be returning to the airwaves for a syndicated half-hour talk show called The Kilborn File and -- surprise! -- it premieres on Monday. What kind of format will Fox use to showcase the former Late Late Show host's sardonic sense of humor and -- even more importantly -- why should you care about Kilborn's new joint? Continue to Movieline's FAQ to find out!
Eight years is a long time to be chained to a network sitcom, especially when your career has blown up so much over the past few seasons that you are currently attached to star in big-budget features opposite Jack Black and Cameron Diaz, not to mention co-write The Greatest Muppet Movie Ever Made (really, that is the title). Just ask Jason Segel, who recently attempted to explain his dead-end How I Met Your Mother obligation to an interviewer and ended up sounding a bit resentful of the CBS series that helped make his name.
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