Considering the outrage that virtually defeathered Michael Bay's hair during his most recent white-hot screed to Paramount, this afternoon's final weekend box-office tally brings a desperately needed peace to the studio and the Transformers family at large. But just how close a call was it?
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Sick of watching American game-show contestants vie for increasingly bigger cash prizes and parting gifts? A budget-strapped Turkish producer has come up with the next best thing: Winning a relationship with God, plus an exotic getaway with Him in the Holy Land of your choosing. Think of it like The Bachelor, except with 10 atheists in the title role and persuasive men of faith attempting to lure their prey into the hot tub of spirituality. But what else is in it for the new recruits?
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· Forgive us for not noticing before, but if we were still wondering whether Russell from Up was Asian, I suppose this image from Pixar's color scripts would settle it.
· Look, we've already told you that you need to go see The Hurt Locker, but perhaps the first eight minutes will convince you? (Update: Whoops! Pulled by Summit.)
· The NY Post talks to the ordinary people conned into becoming Bruno dupes: "When he tried to sit by me and he wanted to give me a blowjob, that kind of stuff pushed it."
· American Idol person Kara DioGuardi has gotten married!
· If Michael Bay has some harsh words for Paramount today, take heart that Roger Ebert has some harsh words for Michael Bay (and his defenders).
In early May, panic-stricken director Michael Bay fired off an angry e-mail to Paramount, accusing the studio of not providing Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen with the kind of marketing campaign worthy of the most explosive, least-comprehensible summer event movie of all time. After receiving the bad news that his movie had merely tied the debuting Ice Age: Rise of the Dinosaurs in its second weekend after the release of the initial box office figures, a livid Bay once again communicated his thoughts to the Paramount brass. Movieline has exclusively obtained this latest angry missive, reprinted below in full.
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Whither Kal Penn, our erstwhile Harold (or is that Kumar?), who this year quit a steady gig delivering implacable reaction shots on House in order to join the Obama administration as a liaison to the Pacific Island community? "Hey Obama...Where's Kal Penn?" j'accused The Wrap a month ago, implying either that this notorious movie stoner was probably lazily smoking doobs or something, or maybe that the producers of House had been caught in an elaborate bit of misdirection, and Penn's seeming absence was simply the result of a rare medical condition that needed to be misdiagnosed, then hastily discovered at the third act break.
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Some actors will do anything in an attempt to get out of the publicity and premiere rounds, but Rupert Grint might have set a new industry standard: The 20-year-old actor contracted swine flu just before the blitz accompanying next week's release of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
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For anyone who toiled in the Hollywood trenches between the years '04 and '08, or merely observed from a safe distance, the name Mark Lisanti should instantly conjure a host of overwhelmingly positive and/or deeply fearful associations. As the founder and editor of Defamer.com, Lisanti's brilliantly written and hysterically observed commentary on the goings on inside studio walls, Century City offices, and ladies' room stalls of some of L.A.'s most exclusive social institutions became a daily addiction for millions. Along the way, Mark coined countless showbiz neologisms: we have him to thank for the CAA Death Star, the Butterscotch Stallion, Grazerhead™, fauxteurs, Lesser Baldwins, future galactic despot Les Moonves -- the list goes on and on. I had the pleasure of working alongside Mark for a significant portion of that time, and it's with a great deal of excitement that I announce today that we'll be working together once again.
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· The '80s TV cop drama T.J. Hooker is today's requisite Hollywood-recycling success story, with director Chuck Russell in talks to bring William Shatner's brooding, middle-aged patrol sergeant to the big screen. No actors have yet been cast, but if you thought the Shatner/George Takei showdown was ugly, just wait for the inevitable power struggle that will consume him and Hooker co-star Adrian Zmed when Russell announces there's only room for one of them. [Variety]
Charlize Theron gets close with Ari Emanuel, Adam Sandler sparks an SNL reunion, and more Hollywood Ink after the jump.
Congratulations to the July 4th box office weekend winner: a blockbuster bit of entertainment in which Megan Fox (voiced by John Leguizamo) tangles with gold-toothed, jive-talking woolly mammoths that transform into gigantic explosions. Sound a bit confusing? It is! Come inside for a box office battle for the top spot that's murkier than a hastily thrown-together Wasilla press conference.
For a moment there, Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs looked like it might upstage Skids and the gang with a bold holiday coup for first place. But even with a 3-D surcharge padding its numbers since Wednesday, the animated Fox entry has dropped incrementally behind Transfromers: Revenge of the Fallen en route to yet another close Sunday finish. Public Enemies performed strongly as well, and a tip of the Uncle Sam hat to Warner Bros., whose firecracker The Hangover will explode past $200 million right around the time you put your burgers on the grill this afternoon. Congratulations to them, and Happy Independence Day to you!
View the full numbers after the jump.
As you approach the 233rd anniversary of our bold nation's independence, pause for a moment and reflect on the things that make it great. And if you need help, look no further than Movieline's handy Week in Review, as trenchant a glimpse into the agony, ecstasy and honor of American life as you're likely to find anywhere. At least until next week.
· Microsoft's most nauseating ad since the Jerry Seinfeld/Bill Gates Shoe-Shopping Experience and the Songsmith commercial has mysteriously been pulled -- wonder why? [via TheAwl]
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Congratulations to our five best commenters of the week, but watch your back: Your aging diva friends will no doubt come out of the woodwork with some damaging quotes about you. "He needed a beard!" Phylicia Rashad will claim. "Her autopsy is gonna prove one thing: She was a looney-tunes pill popper!" Elaine Stritch will crow. Still, we suppose the only bad publicity is no publicity.
So who are our winners?
In time for July 4th, we bring you a real American hero: Guadalupe Zambrano, the domain squatter who owns thejaylenoshow.com, which currently brings you to a real estate sales page.
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When you heard today that Universal had beat four other studios in an intense bidding war to make a film from the arcade game Asteroids, we know what you were thinking: "What?" "No really, what?" and "Couldn't they just have made a space movie with asteroids in it and avoided a whole bidding war, if they wanted an asteroids movie so bad?" Well! The answers to your questions, insolent one, are "Asteroids, that's what," "No really, Asteroids," and "They couldn't have, because the arcade game provides such excellent parts for actors." Don't believe us? Check out our casting suggestions, and leave a few of your own:
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