Kristen Bell and Christian Bale in Kristianne Belle

· In a world ... where two actors' names sound similar ... etc. etc.
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Our Commenters of the Week Win a Pony That is Telling You It's Not Going!

Have fun getting this one out of the stable! Our commenters of the week have, like all of us, dreamed of Shetland equines racing in the backyard and whinnying to the heavens -- like that steed in The Ring, except without the crazed boat death. But today's prize isn't your regular Tennessee Walking bore: This horse is a torch-singing phenomenon! It's telling Jamie Foxx not to pet it! It's saying neigh to Beyonce's Oscar nomination prospects! It's telling us that it is not going -- and it's scaring us in the process. So, who earns My Little Tony-Winner?
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Fallon Passes Along Conan Update

During this afternoon's Oprah Winfrey Show (which was actually described as "Oprah Cleans Out Her Closet, Plus Jimmy Fallon"), Lady O. asked NBC's most neutral late night host to talk about ConanGate. Via satellite from Vancouver, Fallon revealed that he actually spoke to Conan over the phone yesterday, where he learned that the redheaded comedian "has a beard now" and is "going to figure it all out." So stop worrying.

Say Whaaaa? Kirstie Lusts, Mickey Leers and More of the Week's Most Bizarre Crap

It's Friday, which can mean only one thing -- which you probably won't even remember tomorrow because of another thing I guess Friday happens to mean, but still: It's time for Say Whaaaa?, your regular briefing on the craziest, most bafflingly and/or appallingly outlandish movie and TV stories of the week. Welcome back the golden-voiced Say Whaaaa? Singers, who've warmed up like Olympians and are ready to rock some hard disbelief up in this bitch. And a 1... and a 2...

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Kill Fee

Gawker investigates the mysterious disappearance of Variety's bad review for Iron Cross, a Holocaust survivor revenge movie that would be Roy Scheider's last film, which they report was removed at the behest of the Cross's producers after they bought $400,000 worth of Oscar campaigning ads. (It also explains the film's inclusion in their annual Oscars screening series, which typically features more realistic contenders.) Hey -- trade's gotta eat. [Gawker]

Ellen Elevates

Ellen DeGeneres's American Idol gig has boosted ratings for her talk show considerably. The Ellen DeGeneres Show's numbers have vaulted from a 2.4 to a 2.9 in the Nielsens, with a 12% increase in week-to-week ratings. Oprah still dominates the daytime scape with a 5.1, but her capacity for wearing little vests and grapevining through the audience remains dismal at a 0.7 (out of 10). [THR]

Buzz Break: 'Gucky?'

· James Franco is featured in a new ad from that luxury label he's incapable of pronouncing, Gucci.

· Vulture and Videogum are in a tizzy because a fan-created, unofficial poster for New Moon had used a Taylor Lautner body double. If you can't trust clearly photoshopped Deviant Art, what can you trust?

· Dare we dream? Could a new Terry O'Quinn/Michael Emerson television drama arise on cable?

· Sofia Coppola has optioned Francine Prose's novel Goldengrove, which tells a tale of childhood tragedy that recalls the death of Coppola's own brother, Gio.

· Finally, Carly Simon's immortal classic "You're So Vain" was about...gay mega-mogul David Geffen? What? Can we have him gavotte for confirmation?

Which Movie Stars Have Played Cops the Most Times?

According to Kevin Smith, it wasn't easy to direct Bruce Willis while making Cop Out, since Willis had played the smirking cop so often in his career that he felt he knew the character (and his own movie star persona) better than Smith did. Certainly, Willis has worked in cinematic law enforcement a number of times, but has he played more cop roles than all his peers? Movieline decided to find out by doing a little bit of resume-skimming for some of today's top actors.

The rules? The star has to be alive, sequels count (since they contribute to the perception that the actor often plays a cop), and we're focusing on regular cop cops, not military men or federal employees like ATF or CIA agents. Here's what we found:

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More for Mildred

Production Weekly tweeted an interesting bit of news yesterday: Guy Pearce and Evan Rachel Wood have been cast alongside Kate WInslet in Todd Haynes's upcoming HBO miniseries Mildred Pierce. Might the 22-year-old Wood be playing the daughter of the the 34-year-old Winslet? And might Pearce finally have more to do in a project than a quick, five-minute appearance? Time will tell! [Twitter]

Hollywood Ink: Wanted 2 Unwanted by Angelina Jolie

· In mildly surprising sequel news (and a not-inconsiderable setback for Universal), Angelina Jolie has reportedly waved off the long-discussed Wanted 2 in favor of Gravity, which Alfonso Cuarón has in development over at Warner Bros. -- which recently picked the project up from turnaround at... Universal. In response, Universal scrapped its sequel rather than recast it, which makes no sense considering the whole (spoiler alert!) shot-in-the-head-and-killed plot point that affects Jolie's character anyway. Can they not cast someone else at a fraction of the price and sell the brand, like every other franchise? What am I missing here? [Vulture]

Nicole Kidman makes a top-heavy romcom top-heavier, Hall Pass keeps packing 'em in, and more Hollywood Ink after the jump.

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Attractions: The Kevin Smith/Martin Scorsese Duel You've Been Waiting For

Welcome back to Movieline Attractions, your regular guide to everything new, noteworthy and/or curiously aromatic at the movies. This week, Kevin Smith goes for hire and duels a legend for first place, a horror remake surprises and a scrappy underdog emerges in the art house. And much more! (Actually, not that much more, but admit you're riveted and click through already.)

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Headlines: "I Oughta Stir-Fry Your Face!"

· Here's a clip reel from a 1989 film called Collision Course, starring Jay Leno as a horrible racist. He's a sexist too! And just a jerk! He's everything the Coco-sympathetic world hopes to find in a vintage Jay Leno clip. [Everything Is Terrible]
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Actor Andrew Koenig's Body Found in Vancouver Park

Sad news: The body of Andrew Koenig, the actor best known for playing Boner on Growing Pains, has been found in a Vancouver park. The news was confirmed by CNN, and is the subject of a press conference taking place within the next half-hour.
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Will CBS Sue Charlie Sheen?

OK, so, let's be charitable here. THR has a law blog and, you know, I guess they have to write about law-related things. But a whole long article on whether CBS will sue Charlie Sheen for going to rehab? Here is when that will happen: The day Denise Richards reveals herself to be Jesus Christ in disguise. There's a whole lot in the article about morals clauses and the fact that Sheen may not return to taping as quickly as the network would like; sure, but if Two and a Half Men just scheduled reruns for the rest of the season, would anyone even realize? [THR]

The Joneses Introduces Innovative New 'Spoiler-Poster' Campaign

In fairness to the folks behind the new poster for the Demi Moore/David Duchovny capitalist-hell satire The Joneses, there really is only so far you can go in describing the film without giving its central twist away. And as with last year's Moon, you could argue that the Big Reveal isn't even that, but rather just a sizable plot point between the first two acts. But in an era when one-sheets and trailers give away increasingly more of the movies they're trying to sell, even this poster is kind of a milestone of spoilerdom. If you can't put it together from the larger version after the jump, then great; I won't spell it out. For the rest of you, or anyone else considering going for the cast alone, forewarned is forearmed. (Click through for full-size.)
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