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Tonight in NYC: Join Movieline for a Chat With Two of the Brassiest Directors Alive

Dear reader: Got plans this evening? If you're in New York, then now you do: Join me at the Apple Store SoHo, where I'll be sitting down for a chat with the fearless filmmaking brothers Logan and Noah Miller. They'll be in town for a glimpse at their debut film Touching Home and its companion book Either You're In or You're in the Way, a double-barreled example of how even the greenest Hollywood outsiders can get a feature film made in 2010. All you have to do is ambush a four-time Oscar nominee.
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Andrews vs. Hasselbeck, Round Two

Come on, Elisabeth Hasselbeck. You know that the key to cementing your apology to a Dancing with the Stars contestant after publicly taking sides with her peephole stalker is to call. Erin Andrews revealed to Us Weekly that she has still not heard from Hasselbeck: "I didn't speak with her, no." In other Andrews news, ESPN is demanding $300,000 from Andrews' stalker, Michael David Barrett, to cover the reporter's additional security expenses last year. [Us]

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Jake Gyllenhaal's Fitness Secrets

How does our Prince of Persia get them abs? "The Jake Gyllenhaal workout plan...starts with growing long, long hair," the actor told ET Canada. "Very long...gorgeous greasy locks and then washing every day....Wash, shampoo, then condition. Washing works the biceps and then the triceps by conditioning. And vigorously rubbing all of your body with soap really defines the abs and the pectoral muscles. And if you do squats while you're bathing -- that's it!" Until the hair-washing part, this was also the Mickey Rourke workout plan. [People]

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Will Breaking Dawn be Lutz-less?

It's sad, but hilarious: No matter how many B-listers since the end of Hollywood's contract era swing and miss while playing big-payday hardball, a new generation always thinks it's the one that will take the studios out of the park. And now, ahead of Breaking Dawn, Kellan Lutz has stepped up to bat against Summit, which reportedly has offered a mere 10 times what he earned two years ago for Twilight. Ptooie! Haven't we all seen how this ends -- even in this very franchise?
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R.I.P., Apparition

Another indie distributor essentially bit the dust Monday when indie guru Bob Berney walked out on Apparition for undisclosed reasons. This, after underachieving receptions for Bright Star, The Runaways and a few other films they absorbed from an output deal with Sony Pictures Worldwide Acquisition Group. Cheapskate Apparition owner Bill Pohlad claimed to be "surprised" by the move, installing an interim COO and canceling his trip to Cannes. No word yet on where this leaves Apparition's overdue Terrence Malick feature Tree of Life, but expect it to be sold, and soon. [Deadline]

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Hollywood Ink: Colin Farrell Sucks

· Blood! He sucks blood! Or he will, anyway, as the suave vampire next door in the upcoming remake of Fright Night. Anton Yelchin will play the amateur vampire hunter out to vanquish his neighbor, and Toni Collette is attached as the young man's quirky, skeptical mother. We still need the monster-slaying TV icon played in 1985 by Roddy McDowell -- recommendations? Why do I keep imagining William H. Macy? Oh, and Farrell is also in talks for a fraction of the title role in the New Line comedy Horrible Bosses. [Deadline

The Weinsteins take shelter with Julianne Moore, Jessica Biel gets classical, and more Hollywood Ink after the jump.

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Lost Gets a Scooby-Doo Resolution

· Atom.com envisions a Lost ending where the villains have their masks pulled off, Hanna-Barbera style, and Scooby-Doo is replaced by a polar bear. That's fine, but who would be the show's Scrappy-Doo? Squirrel baby? Video after the jump.

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Twitter Attacked, Brave Celebrities Respond

Hackers did "a number" on Twitter today (thanks for the pun, Demi Moore) by erasing all users' follower counts for a couple of hours. In the face of Twitter armageddon, though, some celebrities managed to straddle the fault lines and keep Tweeting. For the most part, the famous and afflicted broke down into three types of responders. We've chosen the best representative from each category.
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Where Did All the Naked Girls on Piranha 3-D's Viral Site Go?

Heyyyy! I know we're all supposed to be in a celebratory mood about the Weinsteins swiping Miramax back from Disney, but one thing at a time: There's a problem with that porn site the Weinsteins launched recently as part of their viral campaign for Piranha 3-D. As in: It has about 95% fewer naked young women today than it did a week ago. What happened?
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What Do Kevin Spacey and Zachary Quinto Have in Common?

Why, they'll both be starring in the upcoming film Margin Call, of course! (Not sure what you were thinking.) Our sister site says the ensemble drama will follow "eight people at a prominent investment bank in a tumultuous 24-hour period during the early stages of the financial crisis." Hopefully that financial crisis hasn't gotten too out of hand, because producers will be looking for a buyer this week at Cannes. [Deadline]

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Rejoice! Weinsteins Set to Announce Miramax Deal at Cannes

Buck up, Bob and Harvey! The big, long quiet around the Weinsteins' proposed re-acquisition of Miramax is said to possibly end this week at Cannes, where the brothers and their investors will convene to announce they've struck a deal to take back their pride and joy.
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Your First Look at the Other Conan

How far will CoCo mania go, and will a Late Night Wars-weaned Team Conan be willing to throw its support behind other lone warriors who bear that name, including Jason Momoa in Marcus Nispel's reboot of Conan the Barbarian? We'll soon find out, as hot on the heels of our blurry, faraway first look at Peter "Seven-Head" Sarsgaard on the set of Green Lantern, blurry, faraway first looks of Momoa have emerged on the set of Conan. And it's not even our blurry, faraway birthday!
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Pretty Wild Star Gets Jail Time

Before she was semi-famous for starring in E!'s reality show Pretty Wild, Alexis Neiers was semi-famous for breaking into the homes of the actually famous. Today, she pled no contest and was sentenced to 180 days in jail for stealing $600,000 worth of personal belongings from actor Orlando Bloom. Hope that framed Elizabethtown call sheet was worth it, Alexis! [TMZ]

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Buzz Break: Jack Black is Tied Down

· Now that Cannes is starting up, expect to see a lot more heretofore-unglimpsed billboards for upcoming movies. Empire just tweeted one for Gulliver's Travels.

· What draws Cynthia Nixon to her partner, Christine Marinoni? "She's like a short man with boobs," Nixon told The Advocate. "A lot of what I love about her is her butchness."

· Actors Bonnie Wright and Jamie Campbell Bower will bring the Harry Potter and Twilight franchises together in holy matrimony.

· Did the New Yorker reveal a clue to the Lost finale via Michael Giacchino's score?

· E*Trade is trying to have Lindsay Lohan's case dismissed by quoting nasty internet commenters in its court papers. As far as legal strategies go, that deserves a "FIRST!!!"

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Here's Your First Image of Peter Sarsgaard as the Elephant Man in The Green Lantern

Remember when Peter Sarsgaard told Movieline not to expect him in any comic-book villain roles? And how we kind of laughed when, a few months later, the actor was confirmed to star as the evil Dr. Hector Hammond in The Green Lantern? Well, nobody's laughing anymore, because the first image of Sarsgaard has emerged from the set -- and he looks horrifying.
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