Noah's Bale/Fassbender Conundrum, and Other Stories You'll Be Talking About Today

Happy Thursday! Also in today's edition of The Broadsheet: Adam Shankman may take on The Nutcracker... Fox boss vents over Prometheus leak... Sean Penn's son strips... '90s movie cosplay takes on weirdly riveting dimension... and more.

· Admit it: Privately, you've long wondered if Christian Bale and Michael Fassbender might be intense, not-so-distant actor relatives -- or even the same person. (Have you ever seen them in the same room together?) Darren Aronofsky knows the feeling: With Bale too busy to take on the title role in Aronofsky's Biblical epic Noah, the filmmaker is reportedly pursuing Fassbender as his second choice. Which I doubt is the kind of thing the Shame star and his agent want right about now, though the idea of Fassbender leading animals to the ark with his, er, staff promises some utterly compelling visuals. [Variety]

· I don't want to even get into this right now: Adam Shankman is in talks to direct an adaptation of The Nutcracker, and action/love story that reportedly "aspires to be similar in tone to Alice in Wonderland." [Deadline]

· Fox chief Tom Rothman is none too pleased about the online leak of footage from Prometheus and insists that the Ridley Scott film is not -- repeat not -- an Alien prequel. And that watching the leaked footage is unfair. Let's go to the video tape! [via Deadline]

· Here you'll find a photograph of Sean Penn's son Hopper in his boxers, surrounded by scantily clad models on the set of a short film called Back in the Game. That is all. [TMZ]

· From the Daria gang to the shabby Jay and Silent Bob, there is something incredibly, strangely compelling about this gallery of '90s-nostalgia cosplayers. [Flavorwire]

· "Sure, there is a long tradition of inspired cranks and interested retirees who have always written letters to the editor, but something in the anonymity and speed and stamplessness of the Internet has unleashed a more powerful and** uncontrolled vitriol**." Look out! Katie Roiphe has finally discovered trolls! Naturally this calls for a very think-y, serious, 15-years-too-late essay. [Slate]